single gal in vancouver

Still alive, still kicking, head held high

2011-12-07T20:44:00.001-08:00

No, I did not drop off the side of the earth. Besides, the earth is round, didn't you get the memo?

It's been a month of the 'embargo'. No one talks about it, no one asks about it. But yes, I'm getting the f*ck outta dodge and heading to the Olde Country.

If you're reading this and have supported me and given me pep talks when needed, thank you. Those east of Port Coquitlam can shut down their web browsers and wipe off their brown noses. Cuddling up close with an unintelligent ogre will get you no where in life.

And that is all I have to say on that matter. More to come. Increased positivity and hopefully some nice looking gentlemen in ties with British accents.

Hodgepodge collection of words

2011-11-09T21:16:00.000-08:00

I had a tonne of things to say the other day, I promise. It was enlightening, lifting, encouraging and funny.
Now. I got nothing.

Topics that came to mind:
-surviving a toxic environment
-how to make people feel uncomfortable by being super nice
-Christmas
-running
-appreciation
-authenticity
-reliability
-friendship

Let's chat about today then.
I had the opportunity to visit a Christmas bureau here in the Lower Mainland (location undisclosed).
I consider myself lucky (blessed if you choose to use that word) having grown up in a fairly middle class family. My parents were able to provide me and my siblings with all the fixings every year. And more. I sure there were things that I wanted but didn't get but my parents didn't spoil us (that was my grandmother's job).
Today, however, I got to see what makes up a Christmas bureau and all the hard work that goes into providing a great Christmas for the children of low-income families. Each family must go through a vetting process to confirm that they are income eligible. This involves an interview process where they must produce a number of documents. In a month's time they will be able to select a few toys and stocking stuffers for their children.

Imagine seeing a shelf full of toys that you know will help make a child happy. Some of the shelves were just packed with great selection. Then, I saw the teenagers' shelves. It was sad. Really, what do teenagers want for Christmas? Hoodies, hair products, movie tickets. A Barbie doll just isn't desirable for a 16 year old.

What is the point to all of this? I'm not too sure. There's an opportunity to help make a Christmas a little bit better for these young people and their families. How will I help? I've got some ideas and hopefully a few will work out. Check out your local charities and donate today. If you're not sure how you can help, ask. They have answers!

Remember to appreciate what you have. There are always those with less. Do we define the fullness of our lives by what we have? Food for thought my friends.

Perception

2011-10-08T23:09:00.000-07:00

I'll ask for forgiveness up front as I feel that this entry is going to be a bit disjointed and probably a little random. But bare with me, please.

The people I have in my life are amazing. There are family, friends, random acquaintances, twitterazzi followers and followees that I have nothing but respect for. First of all: thank you for hanging in there with me. This week I had 2 separate folks tell me the same thing. Their summary: upon meeting me, first impressions would be that I am a fairly conservative person. What? Hold up. How? Have you actually listened to me?

(Before I continue I'll say that I did not take offence and if you're reading this please don't unfollow!)

It actually got me thinking. There are so many 'labels' that I can attribute to myself. Conservative just isn't one of them. I was a little shocked.

I'm a woman, a runner, feminist, sister, daughter, student of life, snowboarder, union member, planner, cat owner, pseudo-writer, an activist at heart.

I have struggled my entire life to be comfortable with who I am. I will never be a size 2. I will always have a booty, I will never be a crafty person that can knit a wicked scarf for a friend. I was the shy kid in the corner for years and even had a teacher tell my parents that I was ' too shy'. One day, it changed. The picture became a little more clear: not everyone is looking at you. If you are, you're doing something right. I've hosted a radio show, travelled the world (solo), worked on global events and this year, ran my first half marathon.

I am one of the most open-minded people out there (at least I think I am.) My friends are from all walks of life: India, China, Australia, artists, labourers, academics, gay, lesbian, trans, queer, with a disability, educated in school, educated in life, rich, poor. I embrace all of their differences and uniquenesses because they make me a better person. If you have a passion for life, I want to know you.

Back to the conservativeness though. I have been a little plain jane lately but mostly due to budgetary constraints and my tits are usually tucked away in classy clothes. Then of course there are special occasions where the fancy shoes come out and I wear some wicked tights.

I'm trying to get to a point here and it's not working out so well.

Basically, take a minute and get to know someone's story. Find out what makes them tick. Introduce yourself and meet the real person behind it all. Listen. Our initial perception is often incorrect.

After all this I still ask - who am I? Ask me tomorrow and it may be different.

Randomness

2011-09-16T18:04:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks have been full of randomness and busyness. Which, if you know me, isn't necessarily unusual.

Autumn officially arrived this week and with it brought sweaters and pumpkin spice lattes from the Bux. Autumn is one of my favourite times of the year for a number of reasons. I sleep well at night, running in this weather means I don't have to feel like a sherpa and bring gallons of water along plus, sweaters come out :)

This month was also a big ticket purchase month. I finally sucked it up and bought a new computer. Thanks to jeremyball I purchased a beautiful Macbook Air. My poor iMac G5 from 2005 is looking sad, sitting on my desk.

I also had a relatively successful blind date last weekend AND we won at soccer. Not sure which one I'm happiest about. We'll see this Tuesday once we've had our second game and a second date.

For now, I'm off for vodka slurpees. More of a summer drink I know, but the Twitteratzi kids wanted to try it and I'm for IRL meet ups. Especially if they involve slurpees.

So yeah, nothing saucy from me right now. Very busy with lots of things. Life is pretty good. My new slogan for Monday-Friday is "Just get through the goddamn day." Just one day at a time.

Single gal out.

My mistake, I thought you weren't like the others

2011-09-05T20:04:00.000-07:00

Ah, yes, those proclaiming to be unlike the others are generally just like the others. They play games, lead you on, send nice messages. And then. Nothing. Thank you for not being different, that would have been an absolute shock.

Really? I gave you respect when you didn't deserve it. Once again providing a laughable story to share with the world, or at least those on the grand internet.

But I digress, life is not all bad news. This wasn't even that terrible anyways. I've moved on. Very quickly.

Summer is closing out with a final burst of heat and while I enjoy the sun and the warmth I am looking forward to cooler weather and a renewed passion for running. It's a season of change. And I can't wait for a drastic change.

The above 'situation' happened a few weeks back - pretty much immediately after I posted my previous entry.

The following are reminders for any boys/men/males that happen to read blog, courtesy of http://therulesofagentleman.tumblr.com/. Read it. Take notes.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

2011-08-21T13:20:00.001-07:00

(Note: This was written Friday evening after an unexpected wicked night out.)

I've made a point not to drunk blog whenever possible. Tonight is an exception as it come as a request.
Setting: the party (read: drunk) train ride home after the first epic day of vacation.
I've been up since 7am, done the Grouse Grind, had lunch at Wally's Burgers, had the 'precious' waxed, met a friend visiting from NYC for drinks and dinner and THEN met 2 absolutely hilarious guys from #twitter at a bar downtown and had a fabulous night. Needless to say their humour was on par with mine. We even talked #vagina, unphased. A-mazing.

Unfortunately responsibility and commitment call and I must be ready at 7:00 am for a ball tournament tomorrow. Sometimes I hate commitment. Especially when I'm actually having a fun night out and didn't really want to go home.
Alas, there is still summer yet and sleep is important. I wouldn't want to strike out tomorrow.

So this entry is fairly tame and does not have anything too risque for you followers/readers. I will however leave you with this thought: be patient, the stars do align when you least expect it.
Also, drink lots of water.

I'm off for a brief excursion to the US of America. Back Thursday!

...But sometimes it hurts instead...

2011-08-01T21:19:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I had the immense pleasure of meeting someone from the 'twittersphere'. Interestingly enough he introduced me by name but also by my handle (as in single.) "What are you going to do when you're no longer single?" he asked. Well, what happened previously was I stopped blogging all together. I stopped as soon as things got serious. I don't know if he knew that I actually blogged under 'single gal.' I can't say that I hid it though, we shared my computer.
But back to the question at hand. After 2 days, I answer with the following: If someone is amazing and intelligent enough and treats me as I deserve I will no longer be single. And that person will be the luckiest person in the world. In turn, so shall I.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm going to stop you from getting all, "Poor single gal. You've got a great life." Yes, I know that. I am incredibly lucky to be where I am and to do what I have done with my life. Trust me, overall, I am happy. But it certainly doesn't mean you can't be even happier.

This past week was another one to shake your head at and go, "Guys, really?" My ex-boyfriend from 2000 (okay, also my first and short-lived boyfriend) said that he would be happy to hang out as friends and even happier to take me out on a date. Wait. What? (See previous post about my attitude about this.) I said I would be more comfortable being friends. We were supposed to hang out on Sunday but I didn't hear from him (dudes, seriously - stop doing this!!)
Then, this Sunday while returning from the beach that is Kitsilano I saw him. It's been over 2 months since I saw his disgusting, using, lying self. None other than the guy that pretty much broke my heart, twice. But I only saw his back and I doubt his saw me as my friend and I were across the street. Self-preservation was nearly lost as I wanted to run to the corner store, buy some chocolate and leave it lying, melting, on his car seats of his open-air jeep. (Aren't revenge fantasies fantastic?) Or I could just tell everyone he had a small penis and the big car, small penis saying is true in his case. But I wouldn't do that. (Even though it's totally true.)

This weekend also had some intriguing and revealing conversations with new people. I'm hoping these conversations continue and new friendships made.

The sun has now set, the fresh-from-the-oven banana loaf is ready for testing and there is a stack of clean laundry that needs to be put away.

PS - This blog title is borrowed from Adele's "Someone Like You". Truly amazing songstress. Thank you infinitely.

You were already cut

2011-07-19T21:18:00.000-07:00

I have to laugh sometimes. Really, it's the only way to look at things.
Today's addition to 'Laugh at/with Single Gal' is the text message I received this morning:
"Hey -----. Sorry I haven't texted for a while. My ex had a change of heart and we started dating again. I don't multi date; I can barely handle on. Lol. I really enjoyed our time [together]!!!"

Really dude? You enjoyed your time with me. Duh! I think I already knew that. This dude was already cut and I hadn't thought about him since the day after we said farewell. Okay, maybe once but that doesn't really count.

A few points:
-I'm glad your ex had a change of heart. I hope you're happy together.
-Great semi-colon usage.
-Please, don't think that if you and your girl split again that you can call me. I rarely have a change of heart.

Besides - "If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it."

Unfinished business Day 18: Your beliefs

2011-07-14T22:15:00.000-07:00

Shit, of course I return to a difficult topic.

My beliefs in a nutshell:

You only live once. Do whatever you can to have an amazing story. Whether that means traveling a shit-tonne, volunteer, read the top 100 classic pieces of fiction or having a giant family of 12+ children. But make the most of every moment.
Do not sit idly waiting for adventure to come to you. Cancel your cable, tuck your phone away and go see the city. Talk to a stranger. Give a homeless guy a homemade muffin. Fight for your story!
Yes, there are times where the battle is simply not worth it. Yes, there are times when you are told by someone that your opinion is too strong and that you walk too loudly. That you have been quieter than normal and no one asks you why or checks in to see that everything is okay. And yes, sometimes you have to take it. Save your strength for battles that are truly worth fighting.
But for goodness sake, wear your high heels and piss them off. Live your life. It's the only one you have.

PS - If you wanted something deeper, it ain't happening tonight.

Learn from those steps

2011-06-26T21:03:00.000-07:00

"You never fail, you simply produce results. Learn from these."

Movements which do not alter respiration are not called exercise." ~Galen, physician to the gladiators

This morning's events were a long time coming. Three years ago this July I started running. It was painful, it is still painful. But this morning I ran 21.1km. There were a few walk breaks in between. A few tears. A lot of pain. I didn't finish in the time I thought I would, but I finished something that three years ago, I didn't think I ever would. Finish my first half marathon.

I'll be honest, I thought I was better prepared, but when I hit the Burrard Street Bridge and started running up that hill, every step I took felt like I was hiking the Grouse Grind.
At the finish line I had family and friends waiting for me. Friends that while I don't get to see all the time, show their quality every time that it's needed. For that, I am grateful. My 'best friends' couldn't even call or text to wish me good luck. Puts it all in perspective, doesn't it?

Tomorrow, I jump back on the healthy train (after today's gorge of brunch at Milestones and then pizza for dinner.) I've got a wedding to attend in 2 months, damn it!

Lessons from today's events:
~Good people show up when you need them the most. Be sure to return the favour.
~Always carry water. Always.
~Sleep is underrated. Nothing beats a 3 hour, post 21.1km run.
~At some point we all hit a wall. If you choose to persevere, to continue, you have already succeeded.

Next time I'll talk about something more saucy or interesting. Today was all about running.

But only by the grace of kind strangers

2011-06-20T21:18:00.000-07:00

Well, we're back. Lessons have been learned. Battles fought and backbones strengthened.

Let's get back to business shall we?

I've been outed to some that I did not expect to be outed to. To those individuals I say hello and welcome. But really, what does that mean? Am I meant to lead two lives? Can I exist both 'professionally' and 'creatively'?

Let's find out shall we? I'll do my best to encourage my creativity after 4:00pm from now on.

For those dying to know, the last 6 months have been both crap and amazing.

For tonight I leave you with this:

"Because it is in pain that we find the meaning of life."

I've asked my self many times these past few months if I've hurt enough to gain that knowledge. Ultimately, our idea of the meaning life changes through time. So we will always hurt. But we will also become stronger.

Happy International Women's Day!

2011-03-08T20:00:00.000-08:00

Today is International Women's Day.

Shameless Magazine posted an amazing article that really highlights why this day is so important, yet rarely celebrated and embraced.

Some of my favourites:

I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay. ~Madonna Ciccone

Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths. ~Lois Wyse

I think, therefore I'm single. ~Lizz Winstead

Why is it that men can be bastards and women must wear pearls and smile? ~Lynn Hecht Schafren

We do not remember days. We remember moments.

2011-03-07T20:44:00.000-08:00

Let's be honest, the past week has been pretty fucked up for me.

I've had crazy highs, crazy lows, people leaving my life, people re-entering my life.

As one friend put it last week: I'm a tough cookie.

I met my gay husband (one of many) for dinner and drinks this evening. Yes, a Monday night, I know. I did not exceed my 2 drink max and made sure to sip on lots of aqua. We worked together and saw each other nearly every day last year but it has been nearly 1 year since we last saw each other - Facebook, you make not seeing people so easy. We got to talking about our pasts and travel and I said that I've really only travelled on my own as I've been on my own for most of my life. WHY??!?!? Was his only response. Good question dear. I have no idea. I have travelled Europe, Asia and North America all on my own. I've never let being single put my life on hold. This past week was especially difficult because for the first time in a while I was with someone that I had real chemistry with and wanted the same thing, but it had to end.

Now I'm officially single gal in vancouver again.

So, what's next?

I'm in flux. My job situation may change continents which means I'm hesitant to commit to anything in the off-chance that I have to let people down.

What I do want to commit to:

-Running more and more often

-Eating healthier (more fruits and veg)

-Acting on every social opportunity that I can to meet new people

-Take care of myself and treating myself every now and then.

-Reconnecting with people that I have lost touch with. Facebook does NOT count.

For now: at least my cat loves me.

PS - Feeling down? Visit: http://www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/20-uplifting-quotes-and-pieces

Day 17 - Your highs and lows of the last year

2011-02-22T21:44:00.000-08:00

The last year has been an absolute yo-yo. I had the most amazing Jan, Feb & March. Then everything dropped out and depression sunk in.

I'm back at the low point again. And I'm fighting to keep my head above ground again.

Despite what most people think, you wear your feelings on your sleeve and mine certainly show through at work. I've fucked a few things up but proven myself in others.

I worked with the most amazing team of people from all over the world. For 6 months they were my life and support network. Then, one morning, they were gone and I had to return to real life. A brief escape to Thailand was not enough. Returning to work where nothing had changed and I had to be fit into a role that no one had for me was excruciating.

So now, I am in the process of deciding where I want to go from here. I really need some time off and time for myself.

Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music

2011-02-22T21:42:00.000-08:00

I guess this is supposed to spark some debate or deep conversation. In reality, I love BEP, Madonna, Xtina and the rest of them. I like anything that makes me to one or more of the following:

dance

think

sing

move

smile

cry

DAy 15 - Your favourite Tumblrs

2011-02-22T21:38:00.001-08:00

Oh gawd. There are so many.

Those would have to be my top 4. I have no idea how Tumblr works. I tried setting up an account once and it was a disaster. I decided to just follow instead.

Day 14 - Your earliest memory

2011-02-22T21:26:00.000-08:00

My earliest and most consistent memory is during mom's nap time. I was very lucky to have a mom that was able to stay home and take care of me and my siblings. My mother has always been a 'napper' and afternoon naps were her time to put the kids down for a nap or send us downstairs to play quietly for an hour or so.

We had an old tv in the basement that had 13 channels then you had to select 'U' to go to the upper channels. I watched I Love Lucy on that tv every afternoon. I specifically remember when it was sunny out and a cloud passed by and made it darker in the house.

Strange memories, I know. Everything else I think of as a first memory seems made up or created in my head.

Tastes are certainly part of my memory and always have been: froot loops, cheerios, black forest cherry cake, potato chips, apple juice and mandarin oranges.

Day 13 - Somewhere you'd like to move or visit

2011-02-22T21:19:00.000-08:00

Anywhere?
That's not really an answer though.
I would absolutely love to go to Paris and just exist. Wander the city. Take fake art photos and enjoy every little corner of it. Find my favourite cafes and bakeries. Speak a little French, fail miserably and love every minute of it.
Some people that I've talked to could not stand Paris. They said it was dirty, unfriendly and unenjoyable. When I was there in 2005 I loved it (except for the 3 hour train experience to Versailles).
The grocer down the street from my hostel was friendly and we made small talk. The city was easy to navigate and the Metro system was incredible. It was the last city that I got to stay in all by myself. No family, no friends, just me.

Courtesy of: http://www.flickr.com/photos/32086350@N05/3894589729/

Day 12 - Bullet your whole day

2011-02-22T21:12:00.000-08:00

I'm so 20th Century. I had to confirm what I thought 'bulleting' was.

-Woke up at 6:00am
-Caught the early bus
-Ate breakfast consisting of blueberries and cereal
-Gave in and messaged the boy
-Boy responded and apologized for not calling last night
-Wasted time in team 'meeting' (no agenda)
-Attended another meeting (slightly more productive)
-Went to Starbucks for a chai latte - LOVE THEM
-Attended lunch time session on green activities
-Ate homemade chili for lunch
-Sat at desk and made phone calls
-Got an email about a potential overseas job
-Caught the train home
-Went to gym and had wicked workout (note to self, must do this more often)
-Heated up leftovers and watched Teen Mom 2
-Realized I'm incredibly behind on this list and decided to catch up
-Next: Bed with cat

Day 11 - Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up

2011-02-22T21:08:00.001-08:00

I miss my walkman. A lot.
I have an iPod. I finally got one for Christmas but my old-school Mac won't let me download the new iTunes without upgrading the operating system (which costs money.)
In summary: there is no shuffling of an iPod for me.

iTunes DJ populated the following:
Zombie: The Cranberries
Spinning in Daffodils: Them Crooked Vultures
It Can't Come Quickly Enough: Scissor Sisters
Head over Feet: Alanis Morissette
two step: Dave Mathews
Know the Difference: INXS
Lily (My One and Only): The Smashing Pumpkins
My Strange Uncles From Abroad: Gogol Bordello
O.N.E.: Yeasayer

I should also mention that all my music is friend friends. Half of it I don't even recognize. It's always a surprise when I hit the iTunes DJ.

Day 10 - Discuss your first love and first kiss

2011-02-22T21:04:00.001-08:00

Does anyone else think those are 2 VERY different things?

My first REAL kiss was when I was 18, on top of Burnaby Mountain, I think I was a little tipsy. It was with my first boyfriend (which was quite short-lived as her returned to his ex-girlfriend and dumped me while I was sick with the dreaded mono).
I honestly don't remember too much. It was cold, I was nervous and I think I did alright.

First love? I'm not really sure if I've experienced love. I refuse to write about my ex-bf that wasted over a year of my life. But I think I loved him. So we'll go with the fact that because I spent that time with him I know what I need and want for myself. Sort of like a Christina Aguilera song.

Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like

2011-02-22T20:58:00.000-08:00

I was tasked a few months ago with writing a letter to myself, 20 or 30 years in the future. I haven't done that yet. I'll admit that I'm a little scared.
What do I want? Can I say right now what I want in the future and what does the future mean? 1 year? 5 years? 20 years?

What I know:
I want to travel more.
I want to feel loved.
I want to give more.
I do not want to be at the same job.
Yes, I would like a family. Is it scary to say that I think I have 10 years to this?

Right now, I can't see out of the fog. I just want to take a step and not fall right now. Though if I do fall I would like someone to give me a hand up.

Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life

2011-02-22T20:55:00.001-08:00

These are counseling session questions, right? Because I feel like I'm going on a journey through me.

Satisfaction: Every time I've completed a race. I didn't care about coming in first or last. All that mattered was that I did it. My most memorable was a triathlon 2 years ago. I felt strong, surrounded by friends and that I did it all myself. I was going to write something career related but lately I have felt like absolute shite at work, so much that I'm sitting in my corner crying softly. I need to escape. I've never been one to sit quietly and let things run its course but right now that seems like the safest option.

Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if it fits your personality

2011-02-22T20:52:00.000-08:00

Oh dear. I don't think I know enough about my zodiac sign, I've never really followed it.
I'm a Gemini.
I think that means that I have multiple sides to myself. I'm quiet yet animated, emotional yet stoic, forgiving yet I hold animosity against those that wrong me. I am self-aware and self-conscious at the same time.

Those that know Gemini's write up: do I fit it?

Delays - Days 04-06

2011-02-05T20:25:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am a terrible blogger when it comes to commitment and following through on challenges.
One thing I have realized from challenges is that you must dust yourself off and keep on trucking.

So, Day 04 - Your views on religion
These have changed immensely since i was younger. Growing up in a bible-thumping town on the outskirts of Vancouver I grew to despise anyone that went to church regardless of the sect. Today, I am more easy going. I have taken several religious studies classes in university and realize now that there are principles among all of the worlds large and small religions that can make us better people. Ultimately, I'm a "golden rule" kind of girl. Treat others as you would have them treat you. Simple, I know, but I prefer to keep it simple. I've never attended a religious service (aside from funerals and weddings), Sundays were meant for sleeping in, going for walks and watching football or golf with my dad.

Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life
Wow - I don't know if I've ever really thought about it. Not detailed anyways. I've had my depressed moments were I wondering what life would be like without me. But the means of ending have not crossed my mind. Instead of ending my life I've always wondered about changing it completely and running away. Avoiding mortgage payments, work responsibilities and such. Maybe Paris, Australia, London. Anywhere but here.

Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself
Fuuuuuuck
1-I wear socks at night and kick them off in my sleep.
2-I practice everything that I say. Every situation. It never works out, but I pretend it will.
3-The person I've loved the most in my life will probably never know.
4-I have struggled with my weight my entire life. And I always will.
5-I love public speaking. I can't stand speakers that plan everything and even have jokes written out word for word.
6-If I could do school over again I would probably not have gone to university and instead done a vocational program.
7-I didn't take English in high school from grades 8-10, I took humanities and regret it.
8-I hold grudges. But try not to let them run my life.
9-I am currently bored of this 30 fact thing.
10-I have been called the most sexual person by a friend of mine.
11-I do not have cable.
12-I miss having cable, just a little.
13-Until I met oh sweetie I thought domestic tasks were not feminist/female positive. I am grateful she is part of my life.
14-Yes, I want children. Finding the right man to share this responsibility with is the hardest task of my life.
15-I have had few romantic things done for me. I really should coach guys on this.
16-I've contemplated 30 day vegetarian challenges but my pre-planning skills have lacked in the last year.
17-I went to Thailand last year and didn't have as much fun as I thought I would.
18-I am addicted to carbs.
19-Being both a night owl and an early bird is killer.
20-I have always been far too mature for my age.
21-I have hidden much of my original blog postings from you.
22-Thinking of my deceased family members will make me cry at any moment. Nana, Papa, Grandpa - you are missed.
23-I'm terrified that I will never meet someone that will stay with me for my whole life and share it with me.
24-I love shoes. I have bought pairs that I will never wear. I hope to one day wear them for someone special.
25-I am a white, anglo-saxon middle-class woman that has been mistaken as racist, colonist and ditzy. Appearances can be deceiving.
26-My ideal date would be dancing to Ella Fitzgerald in my apartment with the lights low.
27-There are some days that I feel extremely lonely and alone. Those 2 together are very depressing.
28-I wonder what it would be like to be with a girl again.
29-I can have full conversations in my sleep/dreams. They're scary realistic.
30-I'm too lazy to do a springform questionaire thing. If you want more, email or comment.

Almost forgot! Day 3!

2011-02-02T22:41:00.000-08:00

Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Fuck.
I hate drugs. I can't stand them. They tear families apart and ruin good people. Having known people close to me that have struggled with addiction in many forms, I truly with the stuff was banned. I don't buy into the argument about how some drugs have been colonized and blah, blah, blah. Evil. Pure and simple.
Saying that, however, I know that many people would disagree, especially the fact that I thoroughly enjoy several good drinks in a safe environment. I'm all about the safety. I dated a guy that had issues with alcohol that on at least 2 occasions drank and then drove. It was scary.
For both drugs and alcohol: be aware of your limits and the comfort level of those around you.

That is all from the desk of ~sg.

2021 - into the future

2011-02-01T20:36:00.000-08:00

30 Day Challenge continued
Day 02 - Where you'd like to be in 10 years

Fuck. That's a scary question. In 10 years I'd prefer to be done my baby making, or at least on the last one. Shit, did I just say baby? Yes, in fact, I think I do want that. But I so rarely see myself there as I have yet to meet a guy to share a family with. A friend of mine recently asked me if I would think of having a child on my own and I wasn't sure about the answer. Single people that have children tend to be seen as selfish - but what about couples - isn't is selfish for couples to want to have children as well?
In 10 years I want to be a leader, confident and loved. Simple, yet true.

30 Day Challenge - it's worth a try, right?

2011-01-31T21:01:00.000-08:00

Oh, single gal blog, I've been neglecting you. Twitter and it's easy-to-use mobile app just makes quick 2 line thoughts so easy.
So I found this little challenge a while back and have decided to go for it.

Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life it.
-Currently undefined. Just over 2 weeks ago I met an amazing guy who I have not seen since late last Saturday night/early Sunday morning. For understandable reasons we weren't able to see each other last week. Work, hobbies, travel, the flu, kept us apart. But it's Monday night and I'm tired of text messages. And I refuse to be the chaser any longer. I've done enough this week. To summarize, I'm still single. I've also realized that I need to stay busy to stay sane. This weekend will not be wasted.
But more on the single life: it's something I grew used to. The boy (from previous posts) is not really a potential for a real intimate relationship but he serves his purpose. I've grown used to not worrying about anyone besides myself. Applying for jobs overseas, going out for drinks, planning trips. But at the same time, I will admit, it's lonely. Coming home and not have anyone to cuddle with you, to ask how your day was, to plan things with. Friends can be pretty unreliable and sharing your feelings with them isn't always the easiest. Let's be honest - I haven't had the best luck with my 'closest' friends lately. So yeah, it would be nice to have a partner, but for now. It's me and my cat. And hopefully I'll be in London in a few months making new friends. Or, snuggling up to a warm European partner. IF he ever calls and gets his act together.

Life is good - living for #6

2011-01-10T20:48:00.000-08:00

So far #6 on my 'resolutions list' is working out well.
Life is good (aside from a cold that is kicking my ass and is finally starting to leave after 1.5 weeks.)

My attitude is often linked with my social interactions with people. As a perpetually single person (PSP) I'm used to doing it all on my own but a lack of social engagements can bring you down. I'm therefore continuing with #6 and just saying yes. So far I've said yes to dancing, snowboarding, reunions, sports, initiatives and life.

Up next: health and fitness. If I'm up to it tomorrow, back to the gym and running!
There's also snow in the forecast which means mayhem on Vancouver roads. It also means adorable scarves and toques (including one made by my dear friend oh sweetie last year. After a bit of work shrinking it for my small head it works wonders and keeps me warm.

Tipping the Velvet

2011-01-06T16:01:00.001-08:00

I had no idea. Call me naive (something I've been called in the past) but I had no idea what "tipping the velvet" meant. Thanks to Urban Dictionary I now know.

The current novel on my bedside table is "Tipping the Velvet" by Sarah Waters. It is, to date, one of the racier books I've read. Total lesbian/tom escapism. The fact that it takes place in the 1890s makes it even more desirable to read as we in the 21st Century tend to assume that prior to the 20th Century there was no naughtyness. Or it was so limited. I do love reading pieces of work that take place in a time long before I was born - especially the 19th Century. I've read and re-read many parts of the Oyster (published under 'Anonymous') and it certainly gets my attention. I strongly recommend checking it out as well as Fingersmith by the same author. I have to admit that I didn't enjoy the last part of Fingersmith as it felt like the author rushed it. But it was, overall, enjoyable.

Back in my next of the woods I'm ready for this headcold to be over with. Day 2 at home. Lots of gingerale and soup. I really just want to get better so I can hit the gym and continue running. I'm working on a list of 'New Years Resolutions."

Here it is so far:
1-Floss every day (I brush at least twice but flossing is something I tend to get lazy with)
2-Write down everything you eat for at least 1 month.
3-Plan out a running program
4-Plan a triathlon training program.
5-Start actively saving for a new mac laptop (the remains of each pay period go into a separate savings account)
6-Say yes when someone invites you out (unless you are busy or low on $$)

That's it so far. #2 is start on January 10th.
#6 is definitely a focus for me as I have tended to shrink into my shell again. It's time to get social and meeting new people! Maybe a new playmate!

Shorter, whittier, blonder

2011-01-05T21:41:00.000-08:00

Yup, I'm on twitter now! Click the link to the left with the giant bird and you'll find me!

Happy New Year all. I'm fighting a cold and cuddling in with my cat. What an awesome way to start the new year.

2011 - here I come!

Happy Christmas and all that jazz

2010-12-19T18:32:00.000-08:00

Loneliness is a lot of things. Around the holidays it's typically amplified by the notion that you have to be around people and social and happy. I don't mind the social bit. Not one bit. It's the people that cozy up and get all mushy that make me want to vomit. But this isn't about relationships, it's about friendships. Since March of this past year I've lost a tonne of friends and acquaintances that all went home to their respective cities/countries/continents. The pool of people that rocked my world has dried up a little bit. They were the type of people to do things and have fun. That had plans every weekend and wanted to experience life: and they did.

Since June I have been working on re-integrating myself back into the life deemed 'normal' by people I know. It hasn't been easy. My family has been great but sometimes you want a solid group of people to have some drinks and go dancing with or even hit up the mountain. Some of my friends I had prior to last year have decided to exclude me from their escapades and do so without acknowledging it. Without even thinking about it. That, my friends, is loneliness. Ironically, they're the same friends that couldn't/wouldn't let me be emotional and honest with. It leaves me wondering.

Today was a good day though. Got myself out of bed, watched some tv and then tempted fate and went Christmas shopping downtown with a single gal ally. Thank goodness for allies that can visit lingerie stores and support the idea of purchasing something, merely for yourself. Or, perhaps, purple PUMA sneakers that really are fantastic. And while I should be buying my family gifts, this one was deserved.

MOH at your service

2010-12-09T21:50:00.000-08:00

Wow, so as irony goes the older sister is destined to be an old maid while the younger is engaged and ready for marriage.
When I first heard that my sister was engaged I had a small panic attack. I didn't know what to say or do or feel. Ultimately I am happy. I am happy that she has found someone that she feels completes her. Flattered as well as I've been asked to fill the role of Maid of Honour. Essentially, that means keeping the crazy family in control, finding peace, negotiating and dealing with the small but frustrating details.

At the same time that she has become engaged I continue to meet people that have recently split with their significant other. A once close friend of mine just told me that her and her husband separated 5 months ago. I'm not shocked at the event but rather that she actually did it.

Today a friend asked me if I was happy. There are many times in the day that I am happy. I'm lucky to be healthy, strong, employed and many other things. Riding down the mountain with the boy 2 weekends ago made me smile so wide. I felt free, challenged, cared about. However I may have just imagined the whole damn thing. I'm headed up to the promised land again this weekend with some different friends. The weekend approaches and I simply cannot wait! Today, yes, I am happy. I averted a crisis, got work done and am ready for a wicked time on the slopes.
Tomorrow, is another day.

reminder

2010-06-27T00:54:00.000-07:00

There's nothing like being reminded that you're single than having to get up at a friend's wedding with all the 'other' single people to try and catch the bouquet. You know? I almost forgot that feeling of being the ONLY single person. Yeah, I think I was. The other girls all had boyfriends. Irony? I caught the damn thing.
It was a gorgeous wedding, the weather turned out and it didn't pour rain like the forecast a week previous said it would. But when you get to drive home on your own at the end of the evening and tend to the cats in your 1 bedroom apartment. You're reminded of your status.

At least, no, AT LEAST, I wasn't the girl wearing the plastic stripper shoes with flashing lights. There was class from this single gal. That's all I can say to that.

And I remind myself:

I'm having trouble sleeping

2010-06-15T20:25:00.000-07:00

Seriously - 2:00am rolls around and I'm awake. This is rather frustrating. It takes about an hour to fall back asleep and then I'm fucked. Even people at work noticed that I looked like shit today. Blah!

Luckily I was able to leave work a bit early and regroup at home. I'm quite sure it's a bit of a bout of depression that's killing me here. I even skipped my fitness class this evening. Seriously! What's wrong with me? This weekend turned out to be pretty amazing with brunch with friends, Metric concert and another brunch on Sunday.

I had a nice coffee date with a guy on Sunday eve - 3 hours of chatting will leave you exhausted. I'm not hoping for much. I feel like I keep meeting guys that are behind on their career and life development. I'm 28 (and 1 week) years old, have a job, apartment, car and have traveled a decent amount. I guess it's true that some guys mature later in life.

I need to get my ass in gear and just do my work. Motivation has been lacking and that's not helping with my perspective on everything.
In addition to this, damn girl - get cooking! I need to focus on using my kitchen again. It has been faaaaar too long.

Here's some inspiration:

If you can't cry with your friends, who can you cry with

2010-06-07T20:01:00.001-07:00

It's been a rough two weeks. I won't lie. I'm questioning my loyalty, sanity and path.
I thought the other day that things have changed and I don't fit in, then a friend said, "Or have you changed and just don't fit in with the normal people."
Two points: (1) That I have changed. (2) That I'm not one of those 'normal' people.

What does that mean though, 'normal.' To be honest, I want the stability that comes with my life but I'm feeling the itch and wanting another adventure, excitement.
But for the time being, I'm making the most of it. I have 2 weddings this summer and am determined to be confident and awesome and as social as possible. This past Saturday I even went to an event and saw some old faces. Though I don't think they recognized me right away. I have to admit, the compliments were awesome. I think people are surprised to hear that I've taken up running as a hobby. But I have to agree with them. Being overweight and drastically changing your appearance is pretty crazy.

So, goals:
Realize your potential
Live every day to its fullest
Read more (already in progress with the cancellation of cable)
Dress as cute as I feel

Case in point re. dressing awesome:

The above ladies are curvy, confident and amazing. And yes, I know there are more Christina Hendricks photos. But gawd-damn she's hawt!

Back from a strange country

2010-05-31T22:50:00.000-07:00

If you can handle squat toilets on a moving train, you can tackle anything life throws at you.
That's my new motto.

I'm back in Vancouver and looking to conquer it. I've decided to keep myself busy and social and try and say yes to every opportunity to experience the city and all its amazingness (not a real word I realize, but I'll keep it.)

Past:

Future:

Let's rock this summer. We deserve it.

I am amazing, go ahead, say it to yourself.

2010-04-21T00:52:00.000-07:00

Nope, not drunk this time.
But it's positive affirmations time.
A gentleman once said to me:
"Darling, you need to realize that you are worth any work that a man has to do to be with you. If they want to be with you, it costs and they have to be prepared to pay. And if they're not then it's their loss not yours."

Every now and then I have to read that. Remind myself that I deserve everything I've worked for. That I will find someone that deserves me. For me.

But now, I am packing my bags and getting ready for an incredible trip to Thailand.

Good bye bad habit! Hello freedom.

Too many words

2010-04-14T20:11:00.000-07:00

On the Skytrain ride home after several drinks with friends I ponder this: did I say too much? Seriously.
Lie: I'm perfectly happy going home alone.
Truth: A warm body would have been nice.

Lie: I'm 100% content seeing everyone go home with or home to their partners.
Truth: I'm fucking tired of it.

Truth: I'm scared of leaving town. I want to stay home and remain safe.
Lie: I want to stay home.

The truth of the matter is that the liquid courage in me right now probably scared someone off of turned them off. Ironically, if he had said the same to me I would already be there. The novelty of the 'games' has certainly worn off. Perhaps it is a sign of the return to normalcy. Whatever that means. All I know is that I'm sitting on the Sktytrain at Nanaimo Station and the buzz is wearing off. The next 2 days are going to be rough. My manager joked that he's never seen me cry. I thin I'll make up for that tomorrow and on Friday. Big ball O tears coming right at you.

One friend already declined to meet up for one last drink. Too emotional a task. I can't really blame her. I'm hoping tomorrow and Friday are quick and painless. And I just hope there's a couch for me to sleep on. Somewhere.

Off into the unknown

2010-04-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

Escape, run away, put head in sand, avoid reality.

Really, that's what this trip is for me. Someone put it in my head to travel to Thailand so off I go for a month. I'm terrified of what awaits or doesn't await me when I come back.

The life I threw myself into these past 6 months has made me want more and less of it. It takes a strong person to pick up their life and move. Yes, family is just a phone call away, but it's not quite the same. You risk burning yourself out living a lifestyle of "going big or going home." I struggled to find my place in it all. My involvement was temporary, somewhat privileged and unique. I have a job to go back to. My family is 30 minutes or less away. My home is here. The people that come into your life in through these events rarely stay behind. They've definitely left a mark, some more than others.

Ultimately:

new direction: description through tumblr

2010-04-11T22:34:00.000-07:00

I've become addicted to tumblr and those damn photos with bits of words that seem to say everything that I'm feeling.

Let's start with #1:

I saw this one on April 3rd and it pretty much sums up how the end of the Games feels for me. All these amazing, inspiring people came to Vancouver and the ones I'll miss the most are all leaving. Please, come back soon.

Like sands through the hourglass...

2010-03-22T09:41:00.000-07:00

It's March 22nd and I'm not sure where November went. The last six months of my life have been the most incredible and challenging.
I took a short term position in a role that I would have never dreamed of. I met world class athletes with amazing talent and passion for their sport. And I met people from around the world that were more family than friends. In two weeks load-out finishes, we turn over the key and say good bye. And what have I learned through this whole time?
People are vulnerable. I am vulnerable. At about the 12 or 14 day mark of shifts every day I broke down and wanted out. Was it worth the sacrifice? The heart break? The caloric intake through alcohol? That's something I'm not sure of yet.

Things I'm proud of:
Developing my management skills
Learning how to snowboard (something I was actually terrified to try before this year)
Challenging my introverted nature and meeting new people
Standing up to my employer and telling them of their faults

The not so proud:
Falling into the same rut and habits
Not standing up for myself earlier
Not writing about my experiences while they happened
Not getting enough sleep or saving enough money

Lists get out of control and I tend to dwell on the negative. A habit many women fall into claiming they don't want to be too confident or arrogant.

April 16th is my last day. It's seems like eons away but so did February 12th back in October when I started. Once this is all over I wonder how returning to 'normal' life will be. Am I ready for it? Am I ready for everyone who has become so important in my life to leave me here? Is the gypsy life for me? Doubtful, but London has been calling me. It's been 5 years since my last visit. A working holiday wouldn't be too bad. But would I be chasing my dream or someone else? Maybe I need to forge my own path again. And rediscover my own passions. I fear some of me has been lost these past few months in my attempt to meet others.

What I know right now is that I'm sitting in a pretty swank apartment unit on False Creek with Science World, GM Placen, BC Place and the mountains in my view. I just got here after an night of realization and I'm updating this old blog after a few months break. Let's see if I can keep the writing up. If even for just a little while.

Dobra noc mes amis.

Already 2010, wow

2010-01-18T19:58:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to think back to when I was younger and where I thought I'd be in 2010. In all honesty, I don't think I even thought that far ahead. Even to this day I try not to dream too big with respect to relationships. My goals have always been about me and my own hard work.

My current goals are:

~survive the next 2.5 months and the excitement that comes with it in Vancouver during this time

~continue to run and enjoy it; make time for this important new component of my life

~get a fucking answer on things

~run a half-marathon in June and hopefully a full marathon within the next year

~travel somewhere far away and meet amazing people, again (I'm thinking Australia and New Zealand)

~save more, spend less

~lose 20 more pounds

Not a lot has happened in single gal's life since the last post. [Self-editing for my own sanity.]

So, considering I graduated from high school 10 years ago this June, I am starting to ask myself where I see myself in another 10 years. Ideally, I'd like to have 1 or 2 children and a partner that can match me and challenge me. The ultimate question, however, is where do I find a partner like that. My current methods have netted me only cowards and temporary distraction. Amazing distraction, but probably not permanent.

You got me wandering why...

2009-12-21T22:16:00.000-08:00

I like it rough.

And I'm a hard girl - loving me is like chewing on pearls.

I have no idea if it's just the alcohol and if it was him or I that made the move, but once again I found myself being pushed to my limits. Nibbles, scratches, bites, marks, squeals, pleasure.

Cold steel

2009-12-15T21:48:00.000-08:00

I watched the first four episodes of Dexter, Season 1. The thought of a cold, steel medical table makes me a little weak in the knees.

All I can think of is the guy I went out with a couple of times in September. The way he smoothly talks. Purposefully walks. Makes me want more.

At the same time, je is confused about other people. Such is life.

Three work-related Christmas parties in the next week and a half. This new job has involved more alcohol after hours than any other job I've had. The social atmosphere is pretty crazy but I'm enjoying it for the most part. I just wish I lived closer to the downtown. Living in 'butt-fuck Egypt' has it's ups and downs. The downs is running for a train by 1:00am.

Anyways, I can't believe it's already December 15th. Ten fucking days 'til Christmas. This month has flown by. I was better prepared last year.

Oh - and random boy from my past is messaging me. Seriously - when will he get it that I don't date stoners. Gross.

Wow - what a weekend

2009-11-15T19:02:00.000-08:00

Wow. Seriously wicked. I can't party like that again. My liver will kill me.

Three and a half hours sleep on Friday night, drive to the mountains, check in, have an awesome time during the day, then drink my face off. If I had to do it over again, I'd drink more water.

Departing at 6am on Saturday morning was amazing. Seeing the sun come up and hit the snow on the mountains was absolutely amazing. I couldn't believe it. As I'm not a snowboarder or skier (yet) I relaxed, read and wandered the village then met up with some friends.

Way too many drinks lead to a crazy night in the hotel room with my travel partner. This pretty much sums up my feelings:. I'm still not sure if it was just the liquor that had him underneath me or perhaps existing feelings:

need an upgrade

2009-10-22T21:27:00.001-07:00

I'm always away from my personal computer when the urge to write, rant and rave comes.

A list of my recent thoughts:

~I am amazing. Yes, that's right. There are certain times when I feel amazing on the inside and the outside. My running race this past Sunday made me feel like a million and a half bucks.

~Fuck. Up again. I have been a carb-eating machine this past month. Anything doughy, bready and tasty, I want to eat. Slowly, I'm going to ease more fruits and vegetables into my diet. Being away from my usual job has been brutal. I love having a new challenge and working with new people and such, but sometimes, I miss my other co-workers.

~And other times, I'm a fucking rockstar.

More later - I got distracted.

not so bright?

2009-10-12T22:20:00.001-07:00

So, it's probably not a good idea to crush on someone that's only going to be here for 6-8 months, is it?

Fuck it. Let's take a chance.

feel good moment

2009-10-01T22:04:00.000-07:00

It's kinda nice getting compliments. When you actually wear clothes that fit you, you realize how good you can look.

But getting an email about it, is pretty crazy.

Even crazier? Eating WAY too much pizza today and feeling sick. Back on the wagon tomorrow.

More fun: James Bond Martini Party on Saturday night and wearing something saucy.

Those are my random thoughts for the evening. I'm looking forward to the weekend and enjoying my new purchase.

This past year has been incredibly amazing. I don't want it to stop. Hard work, determination, driven. Shit - does this mean I'm an adult now? *GULP*

nice ass!

2009-09-21T21:09:00.001-07:00

Want to really know why I enjoy going to the gym?

The people there knew and saw me before my 45 lbs loss. Compliments keep me going sometimes, especially when I've had a bad day.

I have to admit, I looked pretty good in my workout gear.

Ideally, I would like to lose 20 more pounds. In a perfect world, that would happen by Christmas. As a stretch, February 2010.

Want to know the worst part about being 'let go' (mentioned in my previous post) is being worried that you've lost someone that you connected with. Who knows what lies in the future. Hopefully there will still be good conversations.

OMFGG

2009-09-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

Seriously. Apparently I taste like vanilla.

I'm not gonna lie, I blushed.

the side-street walk

2009-09-12T08:57:00.001-07:00

Predictable? Sometimes.

Endearing? Abso-fucking-lutely.

Please, hold me, thrill me, kiss me. Again.

Tips to the male datee

2008-11-11T14:10:00.000-08:00

Not the worst date ever, but pretty damn dull. Which sucks because he's a really nice guy.

But really, do you need to bring out the Nintendo and XBox on the first date?

Dinner was alright, though he couldn't actually say anything important, nor could he make a point about anything. At one point when we were walking around I said, "Spit it out!"

Checking your iPhone while at the table is a major insult, I don't care how busy you are with work. If you decide to go out with someone, that's your time with THEM. Or go to the washroom and do it.

Argh, another bites the dust. I might be a friend with him and chat, but that's it.

Tips:

Don't check phone

In fact, turn phone to silent

Ask her questions about her life

Compliment, seriously, is it that difficult?

DO NOT PLAY VIDEO GAMES UNLESS THE GIRL ASKS

Back to the drawing board.

holy crap - over a month!

2008-09-04T19:54:00.001-07:00

Okay - holy crap it's been a while.

I guess you could say that this summer has been/was a busy one. I've taken up the evil hobby of running, yes, RUNNING! I couldn't believe it myself. The other night I ran over 6km! I'm doing a program similar to the Running Room (yes, that evil, elitist expensive club/store/organization) but I'm at 10 minute runs with 1 minute walks and I completed 5 reps or cycles the other day. I was pretty damn proud of myself considering that in the first week of July I was running 1 minute and walking 2 minutes.

So boo-yeah for me!

This summer was not the Slutty Summer like I've had in previous years but I had a lot of fun. Heck, I even went to a bathhouse! It was a fully or mostly clothed evening that was an after-party for the Queer Film Festival but it was definitely interesting to be in a typically male-dominated space.

I did re-connect with an old fling. So I guess I popped my new apartment's cherry so to speak.

I haven't thought a lot about my single status. Most of my time has been spend with good friends. The only times I really get down about it is the odd day when everyone that I'm with has a partner, like at a BBQ about a month ago. Everyone (3 or 4 couples) were all being cute and I was sitting by myself. Of course, I'm cute enough as it is, but I'd like to have that significant other again.

Speaking of which, I have to laugh, I think my ex-bf is going to end up marrying his current gf and I really, no, REALLY have to laugh. So, don't judge me for dating him, but the guy can't even balance a cheque book. He thinks the world owes him and he drinks his paycheque away and spends the rest on porn, magazines and (you guessed it) comic books. Fuuuck. Alas, I'm looking to BUY my own apartment on my own and he'll be renting and living paycheque to paycheque so revenge is best served by bettering yourself.

In other news, well, there isn't much. Work is hectic as always and prospect number in the zeros. So I write, alone, on a Thursday. Here's to hoping that Friday brings better luck - there is a wedding this Saturday so keep your fingers crossed.

hold me in and make me feel like a woman

2008-06-01T20:54:00.000-07:00

I love corsets. I remember buy my first corset. It wasn't a 'real one' (with boning and the ability to be tied up really well, but it was close enough. I loved how it looked, how I felt in it and I wanted more.

The second corset I purchased was from New World Designs in Gastown (Vancouver.) The store clerk was fantastic and found me a lovely find then laced me in really tight. I love the feeling of being in a corset. It's like someone is always hugging you. The smallest part of your waste is emphasized when you're tied up and almost everyone looks hot in one.

I went to a fundraiser last night and got to try on an 'under the bust' corset. I had never tried one on but the designer was there and got straight to business when I picked one up. The most fabulous thing about this particular designer is that they make items for women with curves, plus-sized women AND they do custom work (something New World Designs said they did not do.) Felix and Kitty are the makes of the fine products and I highly recommend checking out their sight. I'm not so much into the period pieces but the quality was there which was a rarity.

Help my good friend Shay!

2008-05-08T23:10:00.000-07:00

One of my favourite bloggers, the fabulous, knowledgeable, sexy, sassy Shay is conducting a Porn Experiment. If you've stopped at my blog I would really appreciate if you could help her out.

Click HERE and fill out the form - then read her blog. The Friday films are awesome, seriously.

And don't worry, I'm alive, just really busy and I'm going away for the weekend to chill out and see a good friend. Friday....here I come!

hotness, solo style

2008-04-17T21:01:00.000-07:00

I've been really busy with work and such, as well as the Army and Navy shoe sale (5 new pairs!)

The best thing that I heard yesterday though, was my nextdoor neighbour reaching the big 'O'. That's right, through concrete walls I got to hear: "Oh, yeah, I'm cumming right now. Ooohhhh." It sounded like a good one.

I think I'll have a hot bath tonight and have a little 'revenge'.

Some mini-pearl and big blue action is definitely needed, especially after being off sick. The Oyster is perfect wanking material: kinky 19th century men and women.

Waitress: worst movie EVER

2008-04-12T22:12:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I nearly puked. We were 40 minutes in and it felt like 3 hours. Really, it was that bad.

Waitress, with Keri Russell, has potential. A bored, pregnant waitress in a small town with an abusive husband; she bakes some wicked pies. There could have been some humour or quality drama. Unfortunately it has found its place on my worst movie ever list.

Anyways, the good news is that I'm feeling much better. I have the best husky radio voice due to my cold. I also have 3 guys interested in me.

1-My friend's ex

2-An old fuck buddy

3-A friend's friend

I think #3 called me on Friday evening but I didn't answer because I didn't know that number. Who ever it was didn't leave a message. #2 is taking me for dinner on Sunday and I hope to explain that I DO NOT want a relationship with him. #1 called me this evening but I didn't answer because I was with a girl friend watching THE WORST MOVIE EVER. He wants to go for coffee.

I don't want a relationship with any of these boys. I was having a morning coffee and wander around Yaletown today with one of my best friends and I mentioned to him that I am absolutely content and happy being single right now. I love not having any strings and no one holding me back. It was a fabulous morning that I with I could have every day of the week.

one word: blah

2008-04-08T18:35:00.000-07:00

I am sick, achey, tired and stuffed up.

I totally do not feel sexy.

I want to go into a coma for a few days so I don't have to blow my nose so much - ick.

Really, that's all, just looking for sympathy. Right now I want a big hamburger and fries, something that's really bad for me.

carry me off to bed

2008-04-03T23:37:00.000-07:00

OMG - fabulous news to receive before heading to bed

Daniel Craig wants to keep giving and giving

Thank goodness!

I really want a sex dream with him. Totally pin me down, smack me around and treat me like the naughty girl I am. "Honestly sir, I didn't take the rocket!.....but I'll touch yours." (Lame, I know, but it's nearing midnight.)

Sweet dreams ladies and gents.....

dreams, dreams, dreams

2008-04-02T22:03:00.000-07:00

Note to self:

Threesome sex dreams are hot. Too bad it wasn't real.

Yeah, I had a wicked dream where I was with a couple and (I think) I was making out with the girl and the guy was fucking me.

I only remember a bit but lately I've been having quite a few sex dreams. Perhaps it is time to jump back on the horse, so to speak.

10 words to make you randy

2008-03-30T20:00:00.000-07:00

I was given a task from a friend. He's in town in the next month and we've been chatting/exchanging emails.

He gave me a task of writing a short story for him using the following words:

sex table behind hand fast oral quick nipple hair orgasm.

I could really go for a fast round of sex while I bend over a table. I'd love for him to grab my hair

and take me from behind. Then turn me around and perform oral sex on me while pinching my aching nipples and bringing me to orgasm.

Then I would quickly take his member in my hand and finish him over my tits.

Okay, that's a little short. I'll have to work on it...

wannabe's

2008-03-28T23:14:00.000-07:00

Slightly interesting observation:

2 guys that I have been with (one a fuck friend, the other the ex) have both started relationships with women that have children. Little bit odd? Both of them are boys in the true sense: immature, financially inept and live in a fantasy world where they are the most amazing creatures. Neither of them handle emotion or anger well - and they want to be part of a child's life? Whatever.

This was something that I realized the other day. Do they want to be daddy's without the actual legal requirements and statutes? Who knows. They're both living in fantasy worlds.

And they're both out of my life for good.

BTW: lychee martinis are a fucking amazing way to end a week and start a weekend!

Billie Piper is a sex goddess

2008-03-24T22:33:00.000-07:00

So I was at a (gay) party on Saturday evening and my friend asked me to bring some porn with me.
I have 3 title of porn:
Pirates
Jizztank
and Strap-on Lesbians
I got Pirates and Strap-On Lesbians in 'the divorce' (when my ex-bf and I split).

Anyways, I brought Pirates with me to the party and when the hardcore scenes played, the guys were really rude and making terrible comments. Now, I'm about as much of a fag hag as anyone can possibly be. I've seen some gay porn and don't make rude comments. I therefore expect the same from gay men. It was just plain, fucking, rude. They kept making fun of vaginas, really rude comments. I was royally offended. Perhaps that's why I'm not great friends with the person who made the really rude comments.

But, I digress. Sunday evening brought me even better pleasure because I got to watch 2 episodes of Secret Diary of a Call Girl with Billie Piper. I don't know what it is about her but she fucking exudes sex and sexuality and I want to be like her, well, perhaps just her character. I really want her lingerie collection and her bed linens are amazing.

All in all it was a good weekend. Lots of great (free) food from family and friends and a few good orgasms to boot.

I must promise myself that once I get my tax return back I am going to Womynsware to buy a little present for myself.

fucking drunk and ready for a redo

2008-03-23T01:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, so a lot of shit has happened. A long-term boyfriend and shitty breakup with a lot of Alanis Morrisette moments. But i came out alive and now I'm craving cock. Big man cock. Any suggestions readers?

BTW, yes, I'm drunk. I've been a lot more 'social' recently and I love it. No more chains. Just lots of partying with friends and this weekend is no exception.
So fuck the EX! Let's get some party on!

no one ever suspects the short 'cute' girl

2006-09-11T22:49:00.000-07:00

Seriously. This girl is always considered a quiet one. Oh, how the are wrong.

avoiding much-needed sleep

2006-09-04T00:09:00.000-07:00

1) How old do you wish you were?
23

2) Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Just getting up for work.

3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Cry - I want my chips!

4) Do you consider yourself kind?
Sometimes.

5) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
hip, maybe calf muscle

6) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Polish

7) Do you know your neighbours?
I know enough. One side plays CBC loud all the time, the other smokes pot and the other lady is a rough mail-lady dyke

8) What do you consider a vacation?
A day without work and without any other 'requirements'

9) Do you follow your horoscope?
rarely

10) Would you move for the person you loved?
As long as there were jobs and the possibility of returning home to see family and friends.

11) Are you touchy feely?
Sort of, I like hugs.

12) Do you believe that opposites attract?
Undecided.

13) Dream job?
Actor.

14) Favorite channel(s)
bravo/showcase

15) Favorite place to go on weekend?
Park, downtown, the beach

16) Showers or Baths?
Mostly showers

17) Do you paint your nails?
Rarely - haven't for years

18) Do you trust people easily?
Sometimes too much.

19) What are your phobias?
Lack of air, drowning, birds

20) Do you want kids?
I want one.

21) Where would you rather be right now?
Bed

22) Who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
No one right now.

23) Heavy or light sleeper?
Once heavy sleeper, now a light sleeper.

24) Are you paranoid?
Not really.

25) Are you impatient?
Occasionally - I hate being late.

26) Who is your hero?
I'll have to think about that.

27) How do you feel about interracial couples?
That doesn't warrant an answer

28) Have you been burned by love?
I'd have to have been in love to have been burned.

29) What's your life motto?
Look for the positive in life, quit dwellling and complaining.

30) What's your main ringtone on your mobile?
The annoying Nokia - and I'm keeping it to piss you off!

31) What were you doing at midnight last night?
On a bus.

32) Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
Mine.

33) What color shirt are you wearing?
Red.

34) Name three things you have on you at all times:
Necklace, panties, bra.

35) What color are your bed sheets?
white/cream with checked pattern

36) How much cash do you have on you right now?
Maybe $2 if I'm lucky.

37) What is your favorite part of the chicken?
Breasts, baby.

38) What is your favorite city?
Krakow

39) I can't wait till....?
September 9th - sin city!

40) Who got you to join myspace?
Some guy.

41) What did you have for dinner last night?.
Deluxe pizza

42) How tall are you barefoot?
5'2" on a good day.

43) Have you ever smoked heroin?
nope - drug free!

45) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Water or juice. Chocolate milk if I'm in the mood.

46) Do you have A.D.D?
Nope.

47) What time did you wake up today?
I think 10am

48) Current worry?
Not getting enough sleep, and my report due at work.

49) Current hate?
Lazy men.

50) Favorite place to be?
In my bed. Alone or with someone is fine.

51) Where would you like to travel?
Eastern & Northern Canada. Back to Europe.

52) Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
Hopefully still in Vancouver, well-dressed.

53) Last thing you ate?
Strawberry yoghurt.

54) What song do you sing in the shower?
Xtina of Britney Spears - I love trash pop.

55) Worst injury you've ever had?
I haven't really had any bad injuries, maybe a sprained ankle in grade 5.

56) Does someone have a crush on you?
Yeah, right.

57) What is your favorite candy?
Peanut butter anything.

58) What song do you want played at your funeral?
Louis Armstrong - What a Wonderful World or Ella's Mack the Knife (Berlin version)

59) Do you like music that's not popular?
Hell yeah. Yay Belle & Sebastian.

60) Do you play an instrument?
The pink obo. Teehee.

63) Is Fabio ugly
To each their own.

fabulous day at the beach

2006-09-02T21:42:00.000-07:00

This morning and early afternoon was absolutely fantastic.
(I'll discuss yesterday evening in another entry).

I wanted to share why I love living in Vancouver (and make a few of you jealous). I've traveled to and through a number of countries and stayed in many cities but I love coming back home.
My friend picked me up at around 8am and we headed out forWhytecliff Park. My homemade potato salad all packed up with some pretzels, it was going to be a great day!
We got parking (soooo good as it's at a premium there), bought coffee along the way, then took approximately 70 photos. I can't really remember.
Whytecliff park is really close to BC Ferries so you get to see them go by all the time:

It was a gorgeous morning. The sun was shining, wind blowing and the water, damn, was gorgeous.

This is another photo I snapped. A multitude of sailboats and boats in general were on the water today.

My friend and I climbed up this big rock and had a fantastic view of the water, some of the gulf islands and a bit of Vancouver Island.

The coolest part was that I got to see a seal up close and personal. I got about 5 feet away but I didn't see it at first so it snorted at me and scared the shit out of me.

Okay, that's enough for this evening. I'm off to have coffee with someone..... Nite all!

All I wanted to do was be a princess for a day

2006-08-22T19:49:00.000-07:00

I'm still a little bit sore today.
My (burnt) back doesn't hurt that much. The photo (see below) just looks bad.
While playing slow-pitch all weekend I also managed to tear up my leg. I love scratches and scars and all that fun stuff. I'm beginning to understand that I thrive on pain. It's intense. For example, I took a line drive in my forearm on Sunday and now it's rather bruised. Fabulous. I'd do it all again next weekend if i could. (Oh, and just as an FYI - I got the out at first. Play the ball first, feel pain later.)

But, I digress. The title of this post is taken from the film Better than Sex. It's an Australian film that, summed up nicely, is 3 days in the life of a 1 night stand. I really enjoyed it. The internal monologue that goes along with it was especially cool because it's everything you want to say to your partner when you're having sex with them but you're terrified that they'll see you as too controlling or difficult. In reality, however, wouldn't you rather have your partner happy and satisfied?
The main male character was played by David Wenham who also played Faramir in Lord of the Rings. Don't you think he looks better with shorter hair? I have to admit that I swooned - bit time. Mostly for the character he played, but looking at him on screen for 90 minutes wasn't difficult either. The female character, Carole (played by Imelda Corcoran) was great as well. She was just so cute - and natural! I loved it.

I love this photo from the movie:

because lists are fun!

2006-08-09T20:46:00.000-07:00

This one's for a random blogger

A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
-fast food
-cashier
-popcorn girl (theatre)
-clerical/admin

B) Four movies I could watch over and over:
-Mean Girls (watch out for the plastics!)
-Blues Brothers
-Ferris Bueller
-Pulp Fiction

C) Four places I have lived:
-Coquitlam, Vernon, New West, East Van

D) Four TV shows I love to watch (I don't actually watch a lot of tv but here is what I watch when I do):
-LOST
-Northern Town
-KINK
-Sex and the City

E) Four places I've been on vacation:
-California
-UK (England, Wales, Scotland) 2000
-Los Angeles
-England, Scotland, Austria, Poland, Germany, Netherlands, France (2005)

F) Four of my favorite websites:
-BC CBC
-Vancouver Craigslist
-Post Secret
-ALL OF THE BLOGS ON MY FAVOURITES LIST AND MORE THAT HAVE YET TO BE ADDED

G) Four of my favorite foods:
-any type of Indian food
-peanut butter and chocolate
-bread, i'm a bread freak
-really good peaches

H) Four friends I will tag (meh, I don't really tag, I'll just spank some people)
-Naughty Northern Boy
-WryGirl
-Underage Femme
-After Paradise

I) Right now I would rather be: sleeping. I have the remnants of a headache and I just want it to go away. That or cuddling up with someone.

Accompanying e-mail

2006-07-29T01:35:00.000-07:00

aka - spam, you do know how to make my night.

Carito
to me
More options 12:44 am (45 minutes ago)
Hello, Sebastian (not my name)

I want to start my first letter from a question: "Is it possible to be happy without LOVE?"
I think that you will agree with me if the answer will be "NO WAY". Love is the most beautiful and exciting thing
that may happen between man and woman! It inspires us only for doing positive things towards each other.
One very famous writer said: "The beauty will rescue the world" i agree with his words but still i would add :
" LOVE and Beauty will rescure the world".

I hope you agree with me that Love is a big notion.
There's love to God, to Mother, to a child to the country where you were born, and there's love that joins a man
and woman for all their life. That is the LOVE i'm looking for! And i'm seeking for the man who is also eager to have
this life long adventure full of surprises and new experience we can share together! Will you join me for this trip?
I do realise that it should be very difficult to say "Yes" from the first letter having no idea about me.
That's why i just offer to get to know each other better though correspondence that will help us to reveal many things
about each other whether we mach perfectly or not. In addition you can look at my pictures and read some info about me here
http://dating-foryou.com/passion/
I hope you'll like what you see and read there.
Well closing my first letter to you i just want to thank you for reading it and i really hope that you'll share
my point of view on what i said above. I do really hope that you'll answer me soon.

Best regards.....

Carito

If you think that you were subscribed by mistake for this mail
delivery or if your email has been added without your permission,
please, visit http://dating-foryou.com/passion/ and unsubscribe from our mails.

I had to freakin' laugh at this - POF must have signed me up for spam, who knows.

what i would really say

2006-06-19T23:14:00.000-07:00

Alright, bear with me. This is a frustration post.

If I were to write a real personal ad, it would read as such:
Blonde, short, intelligent, writer, curvy (deal with it), wear glasses and loves trashy teen films.
Love, never experienced it. Do I want it? Yes. Do I deserve it? My friends would say so.
I'm the one that's could be called the quiet friend behind the tall, thin, totally extroverted girl at the bar. The one no one suspects.
I want cuddles on the couch, trash on tv and respect. The latter has been lacking, really lacking.
I'm way to knowledgable about the subject of sex. Not from experience but rather from my volunteer work.

I am a hopeless, cheap romantic. I don't want big bouquets of roses or expensive dinners out. Small gestures are lifes most precious moments.

Despises sushi, loves curry and can drink a scotsman under the table the same night.

i never....

2006-05-24T20:54:00.000-07:00

I found this interesting list from The People Your Parents Warned You About. I thought I would take a kick at it. It's the 'I Never' Game. I've high-lighted the things I've never done.

I’ve Never French-Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex.
I’ve Never French-Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex.
I've Never Had Sex With A Member Of The Opposite Sex.
I've Never Had Sex With A Member Of The Same Sex.
I’ve Never Had A Three-Some.
I’ve Never Been In Love.
I’ve Never Had Sex In A Public Place.
I’ve Never Had Group Intercourse.
I’ve Never Been Spanked.
I’ve Never Been Tied Up.
I’ve Never Regretted Having Sex With Someone.
I’ve Never Made Out With A Stranger.
I’ve Never Gone On A Blind Date.
I’ve Never Had A Crush On A Teacher or Professor.
I’ve Never Slept With A Co-Worker.
I’ve Never Had Sex At The Office.
I’ve Never Been Married.
I’ve Never Been Divorced.
I’ve Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week.
I’ve Never Posed Nude.
I've Never Watched Porn.
I’ve Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them.
I’ve Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner.
I’ve Never Had Sex At A Friend’s House While They Were Throwing A Party.
I’ve Never Had Sex In A Dressing Room.
I’ve Never Flashed Anyone.
I’ve Never Met Anyone From Online.
I've Never Cheated On My Significant Other. - never had anyone TO cheat on
I've Never Masturbated.
I've Never Used A Sex Toy On Myself.
I've Never Used A Sex Toy On Someone Else.
I've Never Danced On A Table Or Bar.
I've Never Strip-Teased For Anyone.
I've Never Received A Rim Job.
I've Never Given A Rim Job.
I've Never Received A Hand Job.
I've Never Given A Hand Job.
I've Never Had Sex In A Hammock.
I've Never Performed Oral Sex.
I've Never Received Oral Sex.
I've Never Had Anal Sex.
I've Never Had Sex involving a strapon.
I've Never Given/Received A Golden Shower.
I've Never Had Sex With Someone While Fantasizing About Having Sex With Someone Else.
I've Never Had A Sex Dream.
I've Never Had An Orgasm By Myself.
I've Never Had An Orgasm With/By Someone Else.
I've Never Had Phone Sex.
I've Never Had Cyber Sex.
I've Never Role-Played.
I've Never Played Strip Poker.

Phew! I guess I've done more than I thought I did!

i sort of already knew this

2006-05-18T19:42:00.000-07:00

You prefer Rough sex!

You like it ROUGH. Hard, great, wonderful slamming sex is your type of sex. More the product of lust than love - and utterly horny - rough sex is what satisfies you.

'What is the best type of sex for you?' at QuizUniverse.com

kinky people surround me

2006-05-10T21:30:00.000-07:00

Public transit. It never ceases to amaze me.

This morning I endured a cramped ride to Burrard Street Skytrain Station on the number 22 bus. I had notions of just reaching out and grabbing someone, just for fun. There was a cute construction worker - yum!

Anyways, I get off the bus and the person giving out the daily newspaper is a girl I had class with years ago. Very strange person. She would never remember me but oh do I remember her. This girl/woman/whatever always wore the strangest clothes and made the strangest comments in class, even the professor would get annoyed.

I turn around to cross the street and who do I see getting out of a taxicab but one of the guys from the Kink series that airs on Showcase. A few years ago the featured city was Vancouver. I’ve seen a few of the people that were on the show at various events around Vancouver including the Everything to do with Sex Show, the Vancouver Pride Parade and of course around the Davie Village but I hadn’t seen this person before. Anyways, I get on the “Millenium Line to VCC Clark” and go on my way to work. At my work’s stop I drop in at the grocer and pick up a few things for lunch and who do I see when I exit? But the same guy. I actually wanted to go and ask him if it was really him but I didn’t want to embarrass or find out that I was wrong.

For those that remember the Vancouver-featured Kink or have been able to catch it on repeats (I actually saw one episode with the aforementioned guy a few weeks ago) you may know him as the guy that plays the piano and is quite a dom.

Well, that was my morning. I’m spent and still trying to get over this cold.

Oh yes, at about 12:30 last night when I had finally fallen asleep my friend on the Island called me, drunk. He’d been stood up again. I would have gladly leant him my ear but I was tired and hardly recognized his voice as I was coming out of my sleepy haze. Well, dear Island friend. I have you to thank today for my sluggishness. Kisses hun.

are we surprised?

2006-05-06T17:54:00.000-07:00

Your Deadly Sins

Lust: 80%

Greed: 20%

Sloth: 20%

Wrath: 20%

Envy: 0%

Gluttony: 0%

Pride: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 20%

You'll die while in the throws of passion - the best way to go.

How Sinful Are You?

making my kitty purr

2006-04-30T11:29:00.000-07:00

While browsing imasturbate.org
I found out that May is Masturbation Month. Here are some ways that 'they' suggest you celebrate this fabulous month:

-Masturbate in every room in your house
-Masturbate with your partner the whole month instead of having sex
-Buy yourself or your partner a new toy to use for masturbating
-Take photos of yourself masturbating and post them here!
-Take photos of your partner masturbating and post them here!
-For those who like getting a little crazy, allow yourself to be caught masturbating and feel the rush. :-) (I don't personally recommend this for workplaces and public places where lawsuits can occur, but perhaps you could get caught by your partner?)

Courtesy of PostSecret
(perhaps in honour of Masturbation Month?)

gone in 200 years

2006-04-30T09:24:00.000-07:00

I've been blonde my whole life. When I was a child I had bleach blonde hair, naturally.
There have been some difficulties I have encountered being a blonde. I don't attribute everything to my hair colour though as I feel that there are a number of other characteristics about a person that others judge on.
Blonde jokes are a little frustrating sometimes though I have been known to make a few and laugh at those that others spout. As well, my 'blonde moments' are anything but far and few between but I am not a dumb blonde. I completed my university degree in 4.5 years, finished with a 3.0 GPA (that's a 'B'), have a job at a pretty good company where I've hopefully mad a good impression in my short time there.
Anyways, that's my short rant on being blonde. As well, as a fairly femme looking woman active in social movements appearance is certainly judge, however on a trip to a conference one person actually told me he had judged me poorly at the beginning and he'll never do that again. Moral of the story: don't judge someone on their looks. As well, blondes may be extinct in 200 years! - *gasp*!

Here's the link that inspired this posting:
Blondes Get All the Buzz.

one or the other

2006-04-23T15:40:00.000-07:00

The recent warm weather this weekend reminded me of a conversation I had with an old friend in January. She was explaining that last summer she decided that she was going to wear only underwear or only a bra, never at the same time. Now, she's a fairly well-endowed woman in the cleavage region so I'm assuming that she chose the bra most of the time.

Now I'm comtemplating this. Or at least part time. The one problem is that I work for a fairly large company so I have to dress fairly conservatively. Once it warms up on a regular basis though, I think I might try that out.

Just a random Sunday thought.
-SG

post secret fun

2006-04-22T12:30:00.000-07:00

One more post before I head out for the weekend and probably won't return until Monday.
I'm quite an avid reader of PostSecret
and I've sort of been saving up different postcards from the site that reflect how I was or am feeling.
I'll post a few here for now but I recommend that you check out the site if you haven't already done so.

And yes, I will have a smile on my face today. Thanks to Robbie Williams for carrying me away to that special place.

craigslist makes me smile

2006-04-17T18:35:00.000-07:00

When I'm a little bit bored and I need a pick me up I usually head over to the good ole craiglist. I found this one on the 'Best of Craigslist' site.

It's called 'Vagina Seeks Penis'. And while the person placing the ad is 31, I'm only 23 so the 'twins' may be a little perkier.

Happy Belated Easter and I'll write more soon. Maybe I'll disclose the nicknames for the most recent callers....

passion: has this become a lost art?

2006-04-16T15:46:00.000-07:00

I've made a bit of an observation over the last few months on my, what I'll term, 'adventure'. People tend not to invest in the skill of kissing. They head straight for the sweet spot, or supposed sweet spot that is. It doesn't have to be all tongue or even all on the mouth. Tease a little bit, bite the lower lip, play with his or her ear lobe. Caress the neck, the back. You don't have to have your clothes off to be hot together.

I'm a fairly sex-positive person. Ok, very sex positive person but unless you've got passion, it gets a little boring sometimes. In-out-in-out, blah! Let's spice it up people. One of the best Saturdays I ever had was in bed for 2 hours caressing, cuddling and kissing with a guy. He made me realize that there's more to a connection/relationship/date/rendezvous that just fucking. He slowed me down and I was so glad that he did. There were a few weekends like that in the fall. I'll admit that I perhaps thought there was more to us than just Saturday afternoons in bed but I'd give up sex (though keep masturbation-I'm human) any day to have something like that again.

I was watching LifeNetwork the other evening and there was a show (I think it was Sexual Secrets) that highlighted a cuddle party in New York City. How cool is that? Everyone must remain fully clothed and no sex during the party (afterwards it's free game). But that's just it - can we have closeness, intimacy, maybe a kiss, but not have to have sex all the time? Ultimately, and I'm at fault too, perhaps we have lost that artful skill or have refused to invest in it.

At the same time, does passion and intimacy mean that a couple has to define their relationship? Do we have to be partners (bf/gf/etc)? Do we have to call each other and do something every weekend or can we lead somewhat separate lives but still be together for closeness. Yes, yes, of course there are major issues with possessiveness, I'm well aware of this. But what if? That's all I ask.

But I think I've gone way off on a tangent so I wind it up with this: Don't go straight for the pink palace. Spend some time with passion because it may pay off.

doomed? cursed? inevitable

2006-04-16T00:31:00.000-07:00

The creation of this blog was spurred on by a lack of e-mails and calls from a guy that I'm sort of seeing. I don't really know what the term is so I use 'seeing' loosely. We've slept together twice. Whatevs.

But a bit of background information first. Who is this 'single gal' you may ask.
I'm 23, university grad, fully employed, intelligent and I have a brain of my own. From my own surmising, this is the worst possible situation for guys my own age. I have ambition which tends to scare people. Though I've suffered lows in my life I have also gained a great deal of self-confidence. I girl with curves can no longer accept second best.

Anyways, the deal:
A few months ago I embarked on a adventure of sorts. Let's just say that I'd had a dry spell of epic proportions. It was quite unhealthy actually. So I stepped into the realm of the internet. Dodgy, I know. But it's been interesting. On the one hand I've realized that anyone can have sex when they try, on the other, finding someone to connect with and actually have a decent conversation with that doesn't necessarily lead to the bedroom can be extremely difficult.

So my question is: Where does an independent, intelligent woman actually find someone that is interested in pursuing a relationship of sorts. I'm not saying marriage in 6 months or holding hands every night of the week watching the sun set. Writing this is making me feel a little like 'Sex and the City' and Carrie Bradshaw but I can assure you that my shoe collection is humbled next to hers and her dress size may fit my left leg. So begins this new blog of mine. Let's see who stops by and makes a comment or a move. Cuz at this point I'm open to anything.