You got me wandering why...

I like it rough.

And I'm a hard girl - loving me is like chewing on pearls.

I have no idea if it's just the alcohol and if it was him or I that made the move, but once again I found myself being pushed to my limits. Nibbles, scratches, bites, marks, squeals, pleasure.

Cold steel

I watched the first four episodes of Dexter, Season 1. The thought of a cold, steel medical table makes me a little weak in the knees.

All I can think of is the guy I went out with a couple of times in September. The way he smoothly talks. Purposefully walks. Makes me want more.

At the same time, je is confused about other people. Such is life.

Three work-related Christmas parties in the next week and a half. This new job has involved more alcohol after hours than any other job I've had. The social atmosphere is pretty crazy but I'm enjoying it for the most part. I just wish I lived closer to the downtown. Living in 'butt-fuck Egypt' has it's ups and downs. The downs is running for a train by 1:00am.

Anyways, I can't believe it's already December 15th. Ten fucking days 'til Christmas. This month has flown by. I was better prepared last year.

Oh - and random boy from my past is messaging me. Seriously - when will he get it that I don't date stoners. Gross.

Wow - what a weekend

Wow. Seriously wicked. I can't party like that again. My liver will kill me.

Three and a half hours sleep on Friday night, drive to the mountains, check in, have an awesome time during the day, then drink my face off. If I had to do it over again, I'd drink more water.

Departing at 6am on Saturday morning was amazing. Seeing the sun come up and hit the snow on the mountains was absolutely amazing. I couldn't believe it. As I'm not a snowboarder or skier (yet) I relaxed, read and wandered the village then met up with some friends.

Way too many drinks lead to a crazy night in the hotel room with my travel partner. This pretty much sums up my feelings:. I'm still not sure if it was just the liquor that had him underneath me or perhaps existing feelings:

need an upgrade

I'm always away from my personal computer when the urge to write, rant and rave comes.

A list of my recent thoughts:

~I am amazing. Yes, that's right. There are certain times when I feel amazing on the inside and the outside. My running race this past Sunday made me feel like a million and a half bucks.

~Fuck. Up again. I have been a carb-eating machine this past month. Anything doughy, bready and tasty, I want to eat. Slowly, I'm going to ease more fruits and vegetables into my diet. Being away from my usual job has been brutal. I love having a new challenge and working with new people and such, but sometimes, I miss my other co-workers.

~And other times, I'm a fucking rockstar.

More later - I got distracted.

not so bright?

So, it's probably not a good idea to crush on someone that's only going to be here for 6-8 months, is it?

Fuck it. Let's take a chance.

feel good moment

It's kinda nice getting compliments. When you actually wear clothes that fit you, you realize how good you can look.

But getting an email about it, is pretty crazy.

Even crazier? Eating WAY too much pizza today and feeling sick. Back on the wagon tomorrow.

More fun: James Bond Martini Party on Saturday night and wearing something saucy.

Those are my random thoughts for the evening. I'm looking forward to the weekend and enjoying my new purchase.

This past year has been incredibly amazing. I don't want it to stop. Hard work, determination, driven. Shit - does this mean I'm an adult now? *GULP*

nice ass!

Want to really know why I enjoy going to the gym?

The people there knew and saw me before my 45 lbs loss. Compliments keep me going sometimes, especially when I've had a bad day.

I have to admit, I looked pretty good in my workout gear.

Ideally, I would like to lose 20 more pounds. In a perfect world, that would happen by Christmas. As a stretch, February 2010.

Want to know the worst part about being 'let go' (mentioned in my previous post) is being worried that you've lost someone that you connected with. Who knows what lies in the future. Hopefully there will still be good conversations.

OMFGG

Seriously. Apparently I taste like vanilla.

I'm not gonna lie, I blushed.

the side-street walk

Predictable? Sometimes.

Endearing? Abso-fucking-lutely.

Please, hold me, thrill me, kiss me. Again.