reminder

There's nothing like being reminded that you're single than having to get up at a friend's wedding with all the 'other' single people to try and catch the bouquet. You know? I almost forgot that feeling of being the ONLY single person. Yeah, I think I was. The other girls all had boyfriends. Irony? I caught the damn thing.
It was a gorgeous wedding, the weather turned out and it didn't pour rain like the forecast a week previous said it would. But when you get to drive home on your own at the end of the evening and tend to the cats in your 1 bedroom apartment. You're reminded of your status.

At least, no, AT LEAST, I wasn't the girl wearing the plastic stripper shoes with flashing lights. There was class from this single gal. That's all I can say to that.

And I remind myself:

I'm having trouble sleeping

Seriously - 2:00am rolls around and I'm awake. This is rather frustrating. It takes about an hour to fall back asleep and then I'm fucked. Even people at work noticed that I looked like shit today. Blah!

Luckily I was able to leave work a bit early and regroup at home. I'm quite sure it's a bit of a bout of depression that's killing me here. I even skipped my fitness class this evening. Seriously! What's wrong with me? This weekend turned out to be pretty amazing with brunch with friends, Metric concert and another brunch on Sunday.

I had a nice coffee date with a guy on Sunday eve - 3 hours of chatting will leave you exhausted. I'm not hoping for much. I feel like I keep meeting guys that are behind on their career and life development. I'm 28 (and 1 week) years old, have a job, apartment, car and have traveled a decent amount. I guess it's true that some guys mature later in life.

I need to get my ass in gear and just do my work. Motivation has been lacking and that's not helping with my perspective on everything.
In addition to this, damn girl - get cooking! I need to focus on using my kitchen again. It has been faaaaar too long.

Here's some inspiration:

If you can't cry with your friends, who can you cry with

It's been a rough two weeks. I won't lie. I'm questioning my loyalty, sanity and path.
I thought the other day that things have changed and I don't fit in, then a friend said, "Or have you changed and just don't fit in with the normal people."
Two points: (1) That I have changed. (2) That I'm not one of those 'normal' people.

What does that mean though, 'normal.' To be honest, I want the stability that comes with my life but I'm feeling the itch and wanting another adventure, excitement.
But for the time being, I'm making the most of it. I have 2 weddings this summer and am determined to be confident and awesome and as social as possible. This past Saturday I even went to an event and saw some old faces. Though I don't think they recognized me right away. I have to admit, the compliments were awesome. I think people are surprised to hear that I've taken up running as a hobby. But I have to agree with them. Being overweight and drastically changing your appearance is pretty crazy.

So, goals:
Realize your potential
Live every day to its fullest
Read more (already in progress with the cancellation of cable)
Dress as cute as I feel

Case in point re. dressing awesome:






The above ladies are curvy, confident and amazing. And yes, I know there are more Christina Hendricks photos. But gawd-damn she's hawt!