Monday, March 22, 2010

Like sands through the hourglass...

It's March 22nd and I'm not sure where November went. The last six months of my life have been the most incredible and challenging.
I took a short term position in a role that I would have never dreamed of. I met world class athletes with amazing talent and passion for their sport. And I met people from around the world that were more family than friends. In two weeks load-out finishes, we turn over the key and say good bye. And what have I learned through this whole time?
People are vulnerable. I am vulnerable. At about the 12 or 14 day mark of shifts every day I broke down and wanted out. Was it worth the sacrifice? The heart break? The caloric intake through alcohol? That's something I'm not sure of yet.

Things I'm proud of:
Developing my management skills
Learning how to snowboard (something I was actually terrified to try before this year)
Challenging my introverted nature and meeting new people
Standing up to my employer and telling them of their faults

The not so proud:
Falling into the same rut and habits
Not standing up for myself earlier
Not writing about my experiences while they happened
Not getting enough sleep or saving enough money

Lists get out of control and I tend to dwell on the negative. A habit many women fall into claiming they don't want to be too confident or arrogant.

April 16th is my last day. It's seems like eons away but so did February 12th back in October when I started. Once this is all over I wonder how returning to 'normal' life will be. Am I ready for it? Am I ready for everyone who has become so important in my life to leave me here? Is the gypsy life for me? Doubtful, but London has been calling me. It's been 5 years since my last visit. A working holiday wouldn't be too bad. But would I be chasing my dream or someone else? Maybe I need to forge my own path again. And rediscover my own passions. I fear some of me has been lost these past few months in my attempt to meet others.

What I know right now is that I'm sitting in a pretty swank apartment unit on False Creek with Science World, GM Placen, BC Place and the mountains in my view. I just got here after an night of realization and I'm updating this old blog after a few months break. Let's see if I can keep the writing up. If even for just a little while.

Dobra noc mes amis.

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