Too many words

On the Skytrain ride home after several drinks with friends I ponder this: did I say too much? Seriously.
Lie: I'm perfectly happy going home alone.
Truth: A warm body would have been nice.

Lie: I'm 100% content seeing everyone go home with or home to their partners.
Truth: I'm fucking tired of it.

Truth: I'm scared of leaving town. I want to stay home and remain safe.
Lie: I want to stay home.

The truth of the matter is that the liquid courage in me right now probably scared someone off of turned them off. Ironically, if he had said the same to me I would already be there. The novelty of the 'games' has certainly worn off. Perhaps it is a sign of the return to normalcy. Whatever that means. All I know is that I'm sitting on the Sktytrain at Nanaimo Station and the buzz is wearing off. The next 2 days are going to be rough. My manager joked that he's never seen me cry. I thin I'll make up for that tomorrow and on Friday. Big ball O tears coming right at you.

One friend already declined to meet up for one last drink. Too emotional a task. I can't really blame her. I'm hoping tomorrow and Friday are quick and painless. And I just hope there's a couch for me to sleep on. Somewhere.

Already 2010, wow

I'm trying to think back to when I was younger and where I thought I'd be in 2010. In all honesty, I don't think I even thought that far ahead. Even to this day I try not to dream too big with respect to relationships. My goals have always been about me and my own hard work.

My current goals are:

~survive the next 2.5 months and the excitement that comes with it in Vancouver during this time

~continue to run and enjoy it; make time for this important new component of my life

~get a fucking answer on things

~run a half-marathon in June and hopefully a full marathon within the next year

~travel somewhere far away and meet amazing people, again (I'm thinking Australia and New Zealand)

~save more, spend less

~lose 20 more pounds

Not a lot has happened in single gal's life since the last post. [Self-editing for my own sanity.]

So, considering I graduated from high school 10 years ago this June, I am starting to ask myself where I see myself in another 10 years. Ideally, I'd like to have 1 or 2 children and a partner that can match me and challenge me. The ultimate question, however, is where do I find a partner like that. My current methods have netted me only cowards and temporary distraction. Amazing distraction, but probably not permanent.