Sunday, April 16, 2006

passion: has this become a lost art?

I've made a bit of an observation over the last few months on my, what I'll term, 'adventure'. People tend not to invest in the skill of kissing. They head straight for the sweet spot, or supposed sweet spot that is. It doesn't have to be all tongue or even all on the mouth. Tease a little bit, bite the lower lip, play with his or her ear lobe. Caress the neck, the back. You don't have to have your clothes off to be hot together.

I'm a fairly sex-positive person. Ok, very sex positive person but unless you've got passion, it gets a little boring sometimes. In-out-in-out, blah! Let's spice it up people. One of the best Saturdays I ever had was in bed for 2 hours caressing, cuddling and kissing with a guy. He made me realize that there's more to a connection/relationship/date/rendezvous that just fucking. He slowed me down and I was so glad that he did. There were a few weekends like that in the fall. I'll admit that I perhaps thought there was more to us than just Saturday afternoons in bed but I'd give up sex (though keep masturbation-I'm human) any day to have something like that again.

I was watching LifeNetwork the other evening and there was a show (I think it was Sexual Secrets) that highlighted a cuddle party in New York City. How cool is that? Everyone must remain fully clothed and no sex during the party (afterwards it's free game). But that's just it - can we have closeness, intimacy, maybe a kiss, but not have to have sex all the time? Ultimately, and I'm at fault too, perhaps we have lost that artful skill or have refused to invest in it.

At the same time, does passion and intimacy mean that a couple has to define their relationship? Do we have to be partners (bf/gf/etc)? Do we have to call each other and do something every weekend or can we lead somewhat separate lives but still be together for closeness. Yes, yes, of course there are major issues with possessiveness, I'm well aware of this. But what if? That's all I ask.

But I think I've gone way off on a tangent so I wind it up with this: Don't go straight for the pink palace. Spend some time with passion because it may pay off.


Orlando said...

Although I wouldn't adovcate going back to the sexual ideals of the 50's, I think by gaining sexual liberation and freedom we've also lost something emotionally. While people of my parent's age didn't have nearly as much sex pre-marriage, they did get time to know a person emotionally before they got to know them physically. We've somewhat lost that ability to connect at some non-sexual level - I find it amusing and also mad that its easier to find an orgy these days than a cuddle-party!

b. said...


bless the archives!

will said...

~~Passion a lost art?

Jeepers! So is this blog!

(Am I the only one who misses you!)

If you're still reading your comments, I hope you're having a great time somewhere. Happy up-coming Holiday's Single(?) Gal.

xx,Will/Bill/adam...(yeah, you know the rest too!)

Will said...

Merry Christmas!

Hope all is merry & bright on your side of the pond!

~~Yes! I'm still here!


Will said...

Wondering if you've kept up w/me.

Go back to what you were doing!