Help my good friend Shay!

One of my favourite bloggers, the fabulous, knowledgeable, sexy, sassy Shay is conducting a Porn Experiment. If you've stopped at my blog I would really appreciate if you could help her out.

Click HERE and fill out the form - then read her blog. The Friday films are awesome, seriously.

And don't worry, I'm alive, just really busy and I'm going away for the weekend to chill out and see a good friend. Friday....here I come!

hotness, solo style

I've been really busy with work and such, as well as the Army and Navy shoe sale (5 new pairs!)

The best thing that I heard yesterday though, was my nextdoor neighbour reaching the big 'O'. That's right, through concrete walls I got to hear: "Oh, yeah, I'm cumming right now. Ooohhhh." It sounded like a good one.

I think I'll have a hot bath tonight and have a little 'revenge'.

Some mini-pearl and big blue action is definitely needed, especially after being off sick. The Oyster is perfect wanking material: kinky 19th century men and women.

Waitress: worst movie EVER

Honestly, I nearly puked. We were 40 minutes in and it felt like 3 hours. Really, it was that bad.

Waitress, with Keri Russell, has potential. A bored, pregnant waitress in a small town with an abusive husband; she bakes some wicked pies. There could have been some humour or quality drama. Unfortunately it has found its place on my worst movie ever list.

Anyways, the good news is that I'm feeling much better. I have the best husky radio voice due to my cold. I also have 3 guys interested in me.

1-My friend's ex

2-An old fuck buddy

3-A friend's friend

I think #3 called me on Friday evening but I didn't answer because I didn't know that number. Who ever it was didn't leave a message. #2 is taking me for dinner on Sunday and I hope to explain that I DO NOT want a relationship with him. #1 called me this evening but I didn't answer because I was with a girl friend watching THE WORST MOVIE EVER. He wants to go for coffee.

I don't want a relationship with any of these boys. I was having a morning coffee and wander around Yaletown today with one of my best friends and I mentioned to him that I am absolutely content and happy being single right now. I love not having any strings and no one holding me back. It was a fabulous morning that I with I could have every day of the week.

one word: blah

I am sick, achey, tired and stuffed up.

I totally do not feel sexy.

I want to go into a coma for a few days so I don't have to blow my nose so much - ick.

Really, that's all, just looking for sympathy. Right now I want a big hamburger and fries, something that's really bad for me.

carry me off to bed

OMG - fabulous news to receive before heading to bed

Daniel Craig wants to keep giving and giving

Thank goodness!

I really want a sex dream with him. Totally pin me down, smack me around and treat me like the naughty girl I am. "Honestly sir, I didn't take the rocket!.....but I'll touch yours." (Lame, I know, but it's nearing midnight.)

Sweet dreams ladies and gents.....

dreams, dreams, dreams

Note to self:

Threesome sex dreams are hot. Too bad it wasn't real.

Yeah, I had a wicked dream where I was with a couple and (I think) I was making out with the girl and the guy was fucking me.

I only remember a bit but lately I've been having quite a few sex dreams. Perhaps it is time to jump back on the horse, so to speak.

10 words to make you randy

I was given a task from a friend. He's in town in the next month and we've been chatting/exchanging emails.

He gave me a task of writing a short story for him using the following words:

sex table behind hand fast oral quick nipple hair orgasm.

I could really go for a fast round of sex while I bend over a table. I'd love for him to grab my hair

and take me from behind. Then turn me around and perform oral sex on me while pinching my aching nipples and bringing me to orgasm.

Then I would quickly take his member in my hand and finish him over my tits.

Okay, that's a little short. I'll have to work on it...

wannabe's

Slightly interesting observation:

2 guys that I have been with (one a fuck friend, the other the ex) have both started relationships with women that have children. Little bit odd? Both of them are boys in the true sense: immature, financially inept and live in a fantasy world where they are the most amazing creatures. Neither of them handle emotion or anger well - and they want to be part of a child's life? Whatever.

This was something that I realized the other day. Do they want to be daddy's without the actual legal requirements and statutes? Who knows. They're both living in fantasy worlds.

And they're both out of my life for good.

BTW: lychee martinis are a fucking amazing way to end a week and start a weekend!

Billie Piper is a sex goddess

So I was at a (gay) party on Saturday evening and my friend asked me to bring some porn with me.
I have 3 title of porn:
Pirates
Jizztank
and Strap-on Lesbians
I got Pirates and Strap-On Lesbians in 'the divorce' (when my ex-bf and I split).

Anyways, I brought Pirates with me to the party and when the hardcore scenes played, the guys were really rude and making terrible comments. Now, I'm about as much of a fag hag as anyone can possibly be. I've seen some gay porn and don't make rude comments. I therefore expect the same from gay men. It was just plain, fucking, rude. They kept making fun of vaginas, really rude comments. I was royally offended. Perhaps that's why I'm not great friends with the person who made the really rude comments.

But, I digress. Sunday evening brought me even better pleasure because I got to watch 2 episodes of Secret Diary of a Call Girl with Billie Piper. I don't know what it is about her but she fucking exudes sex and sexuality and I want to be like her, well, perhaps just her character. I really want her lingerie collection and her bed linens are amazing.

All in all it was a good weekend. Lots of great (free) food from family and friends and a few good orgasms to boot.

I must promise myself that once I get my tax return back I am going to Womynsware to buy a little present for myself.

fucking drunk and ready for a redo

Okay, so a lot of shit has happened. A long-term boyfriend and shitty breakup with a lot of Alanis Morrisette moments. But i came out alive and now I'm craving cock. Big man cock. Any suggestions readers?

BTW, yes, I'm drunk. I've been a lot more 'social' recently and I love it. No more chains. Just lots of partying with friends and this weekend is no exception.
So fuck the EX! Let's get some party on!

no one ever suspects the short 'cute' girl

Seriously. This girl is always considered a quiet one. Oh, how the are wrong.

avoiding much-needed sleep

1) How old do you wish you were?
23

2) Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Just getting up for work.

3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Cry - I want my chips!

4) Do you consider yourself kind?
Sometimes.

5) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
hip, maybe calf muscle

6) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Polish

7) Do you know your neighbours?
I know enough. One side plays CBC loud all the time, the other smokes pot and the other lady is a rough mail-lady dyke

8) What do you consider a vacation?
A day without work and without any other 'requirements'

9) Do you follow your horoscope?
rarely

10) Would you move for the person you loved?
As long as there were jobs and the possibility of returning home to see family and friends.

11) Are you touchy feely?
Sort of, I like hugs.

12) Do you believe that opposites attract?
Undecided.

13) Dream job?
Actor.

14) Favorite channel(s)
bravo/showcase

15) Favorite place to go on weekend?
Park, downtown, the beach

16) Showers or Baths?
Mostly showers

17) Do you paint your nails?
Rarely - haven't for years

18) Do you trust people easily?
Sometimes too much.

19) What are your phobias?
Lack of air, drowning, birds

20) Do you want kids?
I want one.

21) Where would you rather be right now?
Bed

22) Who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
No one right now.

23) Heavy or light sleeper?
Once heavy sleeper, now a light sleeper.

24) Are you paranoid?
Not really.

25) Are you impatient?
Occasionally - I hate being late.

26) Who is your hero?
I'll have to think about that.

27) How do you feel about interracial couples?
That doesn't warrant an answer

28) Have you been burned by love?
I'd have to have been in love to have been burned.

29) What's your life motto?
Look for the positive in life, quit dwellling and complaining.

30) What's your main ringtone on your mobile?
The annoying Nokia - and I'm keeping it to piss you off!

31) What were you doing at midnight last night?
On a bus.

32) Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
Mine.

33) What color shirt are you wearing?
Red.

34) Name three things you have on you at all times:
Necklace, panties, bra.

35) What color are your bed sheets?
white/cream with checked pattern

36) How much cash do you have on you right now?
Maybe $2 if I'm lucky.

37) What is your favorite part of the chicken?
Breasts, baby.

38) What is your favorite city?
Krakow

39) I can't wait till....?
September 9th - sin city!

40) Who got you to join myspace?
Some guy.

41) What did you have for dinner last night?.
Deluxe pizza

42) How tall are you barefoot?
5'2" on a good day.

43) Have you ever smoked heroin?
nope - drug free!

45) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Water or juice. Chocolate milk if I'm in the mood.

46) Do you have A.D.D?
Nope.

47) What time did you wake up today?
I think 10am

48) Current worry?
Not getting enough sleep, and my report due at work.

49) Current hate?
Lazy men.

50) Favorite place to be?
In my bed. Alone or with someone is fine.

51) Where would you like to travel?
Eastern & Northern Canada. Back to Europe.

52) Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
Hopefully still in Vancouver, well-dressed.

53) Last thing you ate?
Strawberry yoghurt.

54) What song do you sing in the shower?
Xtina of Britney Spears - I love trash pop.

55) Worst injury you've ever had?
I haven't really had any bad injuries, maybe a sprained ankle in grade 5.

56) Does someone have a crush on you?
Yeah, right.

57) What is your favorite candy?
Peanut butter anything.

58) What song do you want played at your funeral?
Louis Armstrong - What a Wonderful World or Ella's Mack the Knife (Berlin version)

59) Do you like music that's not popular?
Hell yeah. Yay Belle & Sebastian.

60) Do you play an instrument?
The pink obo. Teehee.

63) Is Fabio ugly
To each their own.

fabulous day at the beach

This morning and early afternoon was absolutely fantastic.
(I'll discuss yesterday evening in another entry).

I wanted to share why I love living in Vancouver (and make a few of you jealous). I've traveled to and through a number of countries and stayed in many cities but I love coming back home.
My friend picked me up at around 8am and we headed out forWhytecliff Park. My homemade potato salad all packed up with some pretzels, it was going to be a great day!
We got parking (soooo good as it's at a premium there), bought coffee along the way, then took approximately 70 photos. I can't really remember.
Whytecliff park is really close to BC Ferries so you get to see them go by all the time:



It was a gorgeous morning. The sun was shining, wind blowing and the water, damn, was gorgeous.

This is another photo I snapped. A multitude of sailboats and boats in general were on the water today.



My friend and I climbed up this big rock and had a fantastic view of the water, some of the gulf islands and a bit of Vancouver Island.


The coolest part was that I got to see a seal up close and personal. I got about 5 feet away but I didn't see it at first so it snorted at me and scared the shit out of me.



Okay, that's enough for this evening. I'm off to have coffee with someone..... Nite all!

All I wanted to do was be a princess for a day

I'm still a little bit sore today.
My (burnt) back doesn't hurt that much. The photo (see below) just looks bad.
While playing slow-pitch all weekend I also managed to tear up my leg. I love scratches and scars and all that fun stuff. I'm beginning to understand that I thrive on pain. It's intense. For example, I took a line drive in my forearm on Sunday and now it's rather bruised. Fabulous. I'd do it all again next weekend if i could. (Oh, and just as an FYI - I got the out at first. Play the ball first, feel pain later.)

But, I digress. The title of this post is taken from the film Better than Sex. It's an Australian film that, summed up nicely, is 3 days in the life of a 1 night stand. I really enjoyed it. The internal monologue that goes along with it was especially cool because it's everything you want to say to your partner when you're having sex with them but you're terrified that they'll see you as too controlling or difficult. In reality, however, wouldn't you rather have your partner happy and satisfied?
The main male character was played by David Wenham who also played Faramir in Lord of the Rings. Don't you think he looks better with shorter hair? I have to admit that I swooned - bit time. Mostly for the character he played, but looking at him on screen for 90 minutes wasn't difficult either. The female character, Carole (played by Imelda Corcoran) was great as well. She was just so cute - and natural! I loved it.

I love this photo from the movie:

because lists are fun!

This one's for a random blogger

A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
-fast food
-cashier
-popcorn girl (theatre)
-clerical/admin

B) Four movies I could watch over and over:
-Mean Girls (watch out for the plastics!)
-Blues Brothers
-Ferris Bueller
-Pulp Fiction

C) Four places I have lived:
-Coquitlam, Vernon, New West, East Van

D) Four TV shows I love to watch (I don't actually watch a lot of tv but here is what I watch when I do):
-LOST
-Northern Town
-KINK
-Sex and the City

E) Four places I've been on vacation:
-California
-UK (England, Wales, Scotland) 2000
-Los Angeles
-England, Scotland, Austria, Poland, Germany, Netherlands, France (2005)

F) Four of my favorite websites:
-BC CBC
-Vancouver Craigslist
-Post Secret
-ALL OF THE BLOGS ON MY FAVOURITES LIST AND MORE THAT HAVE YET TO BE ADDED

G) Four of my favorite foods:
-any type of Indian food
-peanut butter and chocolate
-bread, i'm a bread freak
-really good peaches

H) Four friends I will tag (meh, I don't really tag, I'll just spank some people)
-Naughty Northern Boy
-WryGirl
-Underage Femme
-After Paradise


I) Right now I would rather be: sleeping. I have the remnants of a headache and I just want it to go away. That or cuddling up with someone.

Accompanying e-mail

aka - spam, you do know how to make my night.

Carito
to me
More options 12:44 am (45 minutes ago)
Hello, Sebastian (not my name)

I want to start my first letter from a question: "Is it possible to be happy without LOVE?"
I think that you will agree with me if the answer will be "NO WAY". Love is the most beautiful and exciting thing
that may happen between man and woman! It inspires us only for doing positive things towards each other.
One very famous writer said: "The beauty will rescue the world" i agree with his words but still i would add :
" LOVE and Beauty will rescure the world".

I hope you agree with me that Love is a big notion.
There's love to God, to Mother, to a child to the country where you were born, and there's love that joins a man
and woman for all their life. That is the LOVE i'm looking for! And i'm seeking for the man who is also eager to have
this life long adventure full of surprises and new experience we can share together! Will you join me for this trip?
I do realise that it should be very difficult to say "Yes" from the first letter having no idea about me.
That's why i just offer to get to know each other better though correspondence that will help us to reveal many things
about each other whether we mach perfectly or not. In addition you can look at my pictures and read some info about me here
http://dating-foryou.com/passion/
I hope you'll like what you see and read there.
Well closing my first letter to you i just want to thank you for reading it and i really hope that you'll share
my point of view on what i said above. I do really hope that you'll answer me soon.

Best regards.....

Carito

If you think that you were subscribed by mistake for this mail
delivery or if your email has been added without your permission,
please, visit http://dating-foryou.com/passion/ and unsubscribe from our mails.


I had to freakin' laugh at this - POF must have signed me up for spam, who knows.

what i would really say

Alright, bear with me. This is a frustration post.

If I were to write a real personal ad, it would read as such:
Blonde, short, intelligent, writer, curvy (deal with it), wear glasses and loves trashy teen films.
Love, never experienced it. Do I want it? Yes. Do I deserve it? My friends would say so.
I'm the one that's could be called the quiet friend behind the tall, thin, totally extroverted girl at the bar. The one no one suspects.
I want cuddles on the couch, trash on tv and respect. The latter has been lacking, really lacking.
I'm way to knowledgable about the subject of sex. Not from experience but rather from my volunteer work.

I am a hopeless, cheap romantic. I don't want big bouquets of roses or expensive dinners out. Small gestures are lifes most precious moments.

Despises sushi, loves curry and can drink a scotsman under the table the same night.

i never....

I found this interesting list from The People Your Parents Warned You About. I thought I would take a kick at it. It's the 'I Never' Game. I've high-lighted the things I've never done.


I’ve Never French-Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex.
I’ve Never French-Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex.
I've Never Had Sex With A Member Of The Opposite Sex.
I've Never Had Sex With A Member Of The Same Sex.
I’ve Never Had A Three-Some.
I’ve Never Been In Love.
I’ve Never Had Sex In A Public Place.
I’ve Never Had Group Intercourse.
I’ve Never Been Spanked.
I’ve Never Been Tied Up.
I’ve Never Regretted Having Sex With Someone.
I’ve Never Made Out With A Stranger.
I’ve Never Gone On A Blind Date.
I’ve Never Had A Crush On A Teacher or Professor.
I’ve Never Slept With A Co-Worker.
I’ve Never Had Sex At The Office.
I’ve Never Been Married.
I’ve Never Been Divorced.
I’ve Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week.
I’ve Never Posed Nude.
I've Never Watched Porn.
I’ve Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them.
I’ve Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner.
I’ve Never Had Sex At A Friend’s House While They Were Throwing A Party.
I’ve Never Had Sex In A Dressing Room.
I’ve Never Flashed Anyone.
I’ve Never Met Anyone From Online.
I've Never Cheated On My Significant Other. - never had anyone TO cheat on
I've Never Masturbated.
I've Never Used A Sex Toy On Myself.
I've Never Used A Sex Toy On Someone Else.
I've Never Danced On A Table Or Bar.
I've Never Strip-Teased For Anyone.
I've Never Received A Rim Job.
I've Never Given A Rim Job.
I've Never Received A Hand Job.
I've Never Given A Hand Job.
I've Never Had Sex In A Hammock.
I've Never Performed Oral Sex.
I've Never Received Oral Sex.
I've Never Had Anal Sex.
I've Never Had Sex involving a strapon.
I've Never Given/Received A Golden Shower.
I've Never Had Sex With Someone While Fantasizing About Having Sex With Someone Else.
I've Never Had A Sex Dream.
I've Never Had An Orgasm By Myself.
I've Never Had An Orgasm With/By Someone Else.
I've Never Had Phone Sex.
I've Never Had Cyber Sex.
I've Never Role-Played.
I've Never Played Strip Poker.


Phew! I guess I've done more than I thought I did!

i sort of already knew this

You prefer Rough sex! You like it ROUGH. Hard, great, wonderful slamming sex is your type of sex. More the product of lust than love - and utterly horny - rough sex is what satisfies you.

'What is the best type of sex for you?' at QuizUniverse.com

kinky people surround me

Public transit. It never ceases to amaze me.

This morning I endured a cramped ride to Burrard Street Skytrain Station on the number 22 bus. I had notions of just reaching out and grabbing someone, just for fun. There was a cute construction worker - yum!

Anyways, I get off the bus and the person giving out the daily newspaper is a girl I had class with years ago. Very strange person. She would never remember me but oh do I remember her. This girl/woman/whatever always wore the strangest clothes and made the strangest comments in class, even the professor would get annoyed.

I turn around to cross the street and who do I see getting out of a taxicab but one of the guys from the Kink series that airs on Showcase. A few years ago the featured city was Vancouver. I’ve seen a few of the people that were on the show at various events around Vancouver including the Everything to do with Sex Show, the Vancouver Pride Parade and of course around the Davie Village but I hadn’t seen this person before. Anyways, I get on the “Millenium Line to VCC Clark” and go on my way to work. At my work’s stop I drop in at the grocer and pick up a few things for lunch and who do I see when I exit? But the same guy. I actually wanted to go and ask him if it was really him but I didn’t want to embarrass or find out that I was wrong.

For those that remember the Vancouver-featured Kink or have been able to catch it on repeats (I actually saw one episode with the aforementioned guy a few weeks ago) you may know him as the guy that plays the piano and is quite a dom.

Well, that was my morning. I’m spent and still trying to get over this cold.

Oh yes, at about 12:30 last night when I had finally fallen asleep my friend on the Island called me, drunk. He’d been stood up again. I would have gladly leant him my ear but I was tired and hardly recognized his voice as I was coming out of my sleepy haze. Well, dear Island friend. I have you to thank today for my sluggishness. Kisses hun.