You got me wandering why...

I like it rough.

And I'm a hard girl - loving me is like chewing on pearls.

I have no idea if it's just the alcohol and if it was him or I that made the move, but once again I found myself being pushed to my limits. Nibbles, scratches, bites, marks, squeals, pleasure.

Cold steel

I watched the first four episodes of Dexter, Season 1. The thought of a cold, steel medical table makes me a little weak in the knees.

All I can think of is the guy I went out with a couple of times in September. The way he smoothly talks. Purposefully walks. Makes me want more.

At the same time, je is confused about other people. Such is life.

Three work-related Christmas parties in the next week and a half. This new job has involved more alcohol after hours than any other job I've had. The social atmosphere is pretty crazy but I'm enjoying it for the most part. I just wish I lived closer to the downtown. Living in 'butt-fuck Egypt' has it's ups and downs. The downs is running for a train by 1:00am.

Anyways, I can't believe it's already December 15th. Ten fucking days 'til Christmas. This month has flown by. I was better prepared last year.

Oh - and random boy from my past is messaging me. Seriously - when will he get it that I don't date stoners. Gross.

Wow - what a weekend

Wow. Seriously wicked. I can't party like that again. My liver will kill me.

Three and a half hours sleep on Friday night, drive to the mountains, check in, have an awesome time during the day, then drink my face off. If I had to do it over again, I'd drink more water.

Departing at 6am on Saturday morning was amazing. Seeing the sun come up and hit the snow on the mountains was absolutely amazing. I couldn't believe it. As I'm not a snowboarder or skier (yet) I relaxed, read and wandered the village then met up with some friends.

Way too many drinks lead to a crazy night in the hotel room with my travel partner. This pretty much sums up my feelings:. I'm still not sure if it was just the liquor that had him underneath me or perhaps existing feelings:

need an upgrade

I'm always away from my personal computer when the urge to write, rant and rave comes.

A list of my recent thoughts:

~I am amazing. Yes, that's right. There are certain times when I feel amazing on the inside and the outside. My running race this past Sunday made me feel like a million and a half bucks.

~Fuck. Up again. I have been a carb-eating machine this past month. Anything doughy, bready and tasty, I want to eat. Slowly, I'm going to ease more fruits and vegetables into my diet. Being away from my usual job has been brutal. I love having a new challenge and working with new people and such, but sometimes, I miss my other co-workers.

~And other times, I'm a fucking rockstar.

More later - I got distracted.

not so bright?

So, it's probably not a good idea to crush on someone that's only going to be here for 6-8 months, is it?

Fuck it. Let's take a chance.

feel good moment

It's kinda nice getting compliments. When you actually wear clothes that fit you, you realize how good you can look.

But getting an email about it, is pretty crazy.

Even crazier? Eating WAY too much pizza today and feeling sick. Back on the wagon tomorrow.

More fun: James Bond Martini Party on Saturday night and wearing something saucy.

Those are my random thoughts for the evening. I'm looking forward to the weekend and enjoying my new purchase.

This past year has been incredibly amazing. I don't want it to stop. Hard work, determination, driven. Shit - does this mean I'm an adult now? *GULP*

nice ass!

Want to really know why I enjoy going to the gym?

The people there knew and saw me before my 45 lbs loss. Compliments keep me going sometimes, especially when I've had a bad day.

I have to admit, I looked pretty good in my workout gear.

Ideally, I would like to lose 20 more pounds. In a perfect world, that would happen by Christmas. As a stretch, February 2010.

Want to know the worst part about being 'let go' (mentioned in my previous post) is being worried that you've lost someone that you connected with. Who knows what lies in the future. Hopefully there will still be good conversations.

OMFGG

Seriously. Apparently I taste like vanilla.

I'm not gonna lie, I blushed.

the side-street walk

Predictable? Sometimes.

Endearing? Abso-fucking-lutely.

Please, hold me, thrill me, kiss me. Again.

Tips to the male datee

Not the worst date ever, but pretty damn dull. Which sucks because he's a really nice guy.

But really, do  you need to bring out the Nintendo and XBox on the first date?

Dinner was alright, though he couldn't actually say anything important, nor could he make a point about anything. At one point when we were walking around I said, "Spit it out!"

Checking your iPhone while at the table is a major insult, I don't care how busy you are with work. If you decide to go out with someone, that's your time with THEM. Or go to the washroom and do it.

Argh, another bites the dust. I might be a friend with him and chat, but that's it.

Tips:

Don't check phone

In fact, turn phone to silent

Ask her questions about her life

Compliment, seriously, is it that difficult?

DO NOT PLAY VIDEO GAMES UNLESS THE GIRL ASKS

Back to the drawing board.

holy crap - over a month!

Okay - holy crap it's been a while.

I guess you could say that this summer has been/was a busy one. I've taken up the evil hobby of running, yes, RUNNING! I couldn't believe it myself. The other night I ran over 6km! I'm doing a program similar to the Running Room (yes, that evil, elitist expensive club/store/organization) but I'm at 10 minute runs with 1 minute walks and I completed 5 reps or cycles the other day. I was pretty damn proud of myself considering that in the first week of July I was running 1 minute and walking 2 minutes.

So boo-yeah for me!

This summer was not the Slutty Summer like I've had in previous years but I had a lot of fun. Heck, I even went to a bathhouse! It was a fully or mostly clothed evening that was an after-party for the Queer Film Festival but it was definitely interesting to be in a typically male-dominated space.

I did re-connect with an old fling. So I guess I popped my new apartment's cherry so to speak.

I haven't thought a lot about my single status. Most of my time has been spend with good friends. The only times I really get down about it is the odd day when everyone that I'm with has a partner, like at a BBQ about a month ago. Everyone (3 or 4 couples) were all being cute and I was sitting by myself. Of course, I'm cute enough as it is, but I'd like to have that significant other again.

Speaking of which, I have to laugh, I think my ex-bf is going to end up marrying his current gf and I really, no, REALLY have to laugh. So, don't judge me for dating him, but the guy can't even balance a cheque book. He thinks the world owes him and he drinks his paycheque away and spends the rest on porn, magazines and (you guessed it) comic books. Fuuuck. Alas, I'm looking to BUY my own apartment on my own and he'll be renting and living paycheque to paycheque so revenge is best served by bettering yourself.

In other news, well, there isn't much. Work is hectic as always and prospect number in the zeros. So I write, alone, on a Thursday. Here's to hoping that Friday brings better luck - there is a wedding this Saturday so keep your fingers crossed.

hold me in and make me feel like a woman

I love corsets. I remember buy my first corset. It wasn't a 'real one' (with boning and the ability to be tied up really well, but it was close enough. I loved how it looked, how I felt in it and I wanted more.

The second corset I purchased was from New World Designs in Gastown (Vancouver.) The store clerk was fantastic and found me a lovely find then laced me in really tight. I love the feeling of being in a corset. It's like someone is always hugging you. The smallest part of your waste is emphasized when you're tied up and almost everyone looks hot in one.

I went to a fundraiser last night and got to try on an 'under the bust' corset. I had never tried one on but the designer was there and got straight to business when I picked one up. The most fabulous thing about this particular designer is that they make items for women with curves, plus-sized women AND they do custom work (something New World Designs said they did not do.) Felix and Kitty are the makes of the fine products and I highly recommend checking out their sight. I'm not so much into the period pieces but the quality was there which was a rarity.

Help my good friend Shay!

One of my favourite bloggers, the fabulous, knowledgeable, sexy, sassy Shay is conducting a Porn Experiment. If you've stopped at my blog I would really appreciate if you could help her out.

Click HERE and fill out the form - then read her blog. The Friday films are awesome, seriously.

And don't worry, I'm alive, just really busy and I'm going away for the weekend to chill out and see a good friend. Friday....here I come!

hotness, solo style

I've been really busy with work and such, as well as the Army and Navy shoe sale (5 new pairs!)

The best thing that I heard yesterday though, was my nextdoor neighbour reaching the big 'O'. That's right, through concrete walls I got to hear: "Oh, yeah, I'm cumming right now. Ooohhhh." It sounded like a good one.

I think I'll have a hot bath tonight and have a little 'revenge'.

Some mini-pearl and big blue action is definitely needed, especially after being off sick. The Oyster is perfect wanking material: kinky 19th century men and women.

Waitress: worst movie EVER

Honestly, I nearly puked. We were 40 minutes in and it felt like 3 hours. Really, it was that bad.

Waitress, with Keri Russell, has potential. A bored, pregnant waitress in a small town with an abusive husband; she bakes some wicked pies. There could have been some humour or quality drama. Unfortunately it has found its place on my worst movie ever list.

Anyways, the good news is that I'm feeling much better. I have the best husky radio voice due to my cold. I also have 3 guys interested in me.

1-My friend's ex

2-An old fuck buddy

3-A friend's friend

I think #3 called me on Friday evening but I didn't answer because I didn't know that number. Who ever it was didn't leave a message. #2 is taking me for dinner on Sunday and I hope to explain that I DO NOT want a relationship with him. #1 called me this evening but I didn't answer because I was with a girl friend watching THE WORST MOVIE EVER. He wants to go for coffee.

I don't want a relationship with any of these boys. I was having a morning coffee and wander around Yaletown today with one of my best friends and I mentioned to him that I am absolutely content and happy being single right now. I love not having any strings and no one holding me back. It was a fabulous morning that I with I could have every day of the week.

one word: blah

I am sick, achey, tired and stuffed up.

I totally do not feel sexy.

I want to go into a coma for a few days so I don't have to blow my nose so much - ick.

Really, that's all, just looking for sympathy. Right now I want a big hamburger and fries, something that's really bad for me.

carry me off to bed

OMG - fabulous news to receive before heading to bed

Daniel Craig wants to keep giving and giving

Thank goodness!

I really want a sex dream with him. Totally pin me down, smack me around and treat me like the naughty girl I am. "Honestly sir, I didn't take the rocket!.....but I'll touch yours." (Lame, I know, but it's nearing midnight.)

Sweet dreams ladies and gents.....

dreams, dreams, dreams

Note to self:

Threesome sex dreams are hot. Too bad it wasn't real.

Yeah, I had a wicked dream where I was with a couple and (I think) I was making out with the girl and the guy was fucking me.

I only remember a bit but lately I've been having quite a few sex dreams. Perhaps it is time to jump back on the horse, so to speak.

10 words to make you randy

I was given a task from a friend. He's in town in the next month and we've been chatting/exchanging emails.

He gave me a task of writing a short story for him using the following words:

sex table behind hand fast oral quick nipple hair orgasm.

I could really go for a fast round of sex while I bend over a table. I'd love for him to grab my hair

and take me from behind. Then turn me around and perform oral sex on me while pinching my aching nipples and bringing me to orgasm.

Then I would quickly take his member in my hand and finish him over my tits.

Okay, that's a little short. I'll have to work on it...

wannabe's

Slightly interesting observation:

2 guys that I have been with (one a fuck friend, the other the ex) have both started relationships with women that have children. Little bit odd? Both of them are boys in the true sense: immature, financially inept and live in a fantasy world where they are the most amazing creatures. Neither of them handle emotion or anger well - and they want to be part of a child's life? Whatever.

This was something that I realized the other day. Do they want to be daddy's without the actual legal requirements and statutes? Who knows. They're both living in fantasy worlds.

And they're both out of my life for good.

BTW: lychee martinis are a fucking amazing way to end a week and start a weekend!